Grade MY eSSAY(s), PLEASE

NFY1234
Sun, 30 Sep 2012 19:43:40 +0000

Hi will someone please grade my essays i need feedback

Essay 1 prompt: are people primarily driven by selfish motives, eg wealth, fame, power, or do more people operate by conscience?

Essay1:
Although the belief that humans are primarily driven by selfish motives may seem cynical, it actually holds a great deal of truth. People sacrifice their consciences in search for increased wealth and power more often than they dont; the consequences are clear in the context of history and life.

The Industrial Revolution was a period of substantially increased output of goods due to the mechanization of production. It was a boon to modern economies and to those at the top; however, the workers suffered. FActory owners exploited workers, subjecting women and children alike to long hours in a dangerous, filthy factory setting. This occurred because factory owners were so preoccupied with generating the greatest possible profit that they forgoed their consciences. Because of their cupidity, they viewed workers as nothing more tahn parts of the ultimate machine, parts that were unfortunately expendable. Charlie Chaplin illustrated the dehumanizing nature of the Industrial Revolution by comparing workers to cows in a satirical film. Just as cows are wanted simply for meat and milk, workers were wanted only for the money they could produce/

The Crucible, a dramatized play about the Salem Witch Trials, also demonstrates that in most cases, people act according to their own selfish desires. The title of the play, “The Crucible”, refers to a container in which things are boiled. The story is named so because as one event leads to another, the situation becomes out of control and reaches a boil - a boil fueled by human selfishness. Abigail, a young girl with a talent for deception, begins the dreadful series of witchcraft accusations in order to escape punishment for her own frivolous and bordering on Satanic activities in the forest. With the help of her cronies, she fools everyone into believing that she was forced by witches into such conduct. Though it begins as mere accusations, eventually the situation escalates to the point where a list of women to be hanged is compiled. This occurs because of the selfishness in people’s hearts. Those who knew the whole thing was ridiculous stayed quiet to save their own skins while many others actually aggravated the situation by accusing others in order to gain their land or to exact vengeance for petty disputes in the past. Though there are a few morally sound characters in the story, the sad reality is that the minority cannot defeat the overwhelming majority. The tragedies of the Salem Witchcraft trials are shown by the Crucible to have occurred because the vast majority of the villagers motivated by selfish desires.


Essay 2 Prompt:is success always a good thing

Success does not always engender health and happiness. Sometimes, it in fact can be destructive towards oneself. There can be unexpected consequences in striving for and achieving a goal, consequences which ruin the benefit of the success.

Robert Schumann, a talented composer and pianist during the Romantic period of music, valued musical success so highly that he ended up crippling his career and ruining his life. EArly in his life, he composed quite a few well known pieces of piano music; however, he was not satisfied with just this. Though he was already sucessful, he still wanted more success. Schumann felt that his techncal skills were not adequate enough to be considered virtuouso level. Thus, an inexorable obsession to be the best conquered and commanded his entire being, driving him to extremes in order to achieve his goal. Unsatisfied with the strenght and agility of his ring finger, he t ried various techniques, such as taping it to an adjacent finger, in order to strengthen it. Tragically, his lack of restraint in practicing left his ring finger paralyzed. The benefit of his success was eradicated by his desire for more success. With nothing left to live for, Schumman attempted and failed suicide twice; finally, he was placed in an asylum to protect him from himself. IN the case of Schumann, sccuess destroyed his life.

The French and Britihs success in forcing Germany to comply to thte repressive Treaty of Versailles would have unforeseen and globally signifcant consequences. During WWI, death and destruction like never before ran rampant. Millions died in bloody standoffs in which opposing sides hid in trenches and essentially sent troops over to the other side to die until everyone was dead. Upon winniing the war, Britain and France wanted to exact as harsh a vengeance as possible upon the Germans. Despite opposition from Woodrow Wilson ,the president of the US, Britain and France were able to successfully coerce Germany into agreeing to the Treaty of Versailles, which imposed excessively harsh conditions upon the Germans. However, The Allies’ success in pushing all blame onto the Germans and forcing them to pay reparations would ultimately result in an even more disastrous conflict - WWII.
In certain situations, success can bring about negative results. Sometimes, it is better to not achieve everything one desires - doing so could result in dire consequences.