Grade my essays?

cellardoor17
Tue, 24 Jan 2012 11:38:48 +0000

I’m taking the SAT for the first time this Saturday and I would really appreciate it if someone graded my essays! I’ll post one right now, but more are to come.

This is my first essay so hopefully some feedback will help me determine how to write the next one better.



Traditionally the term “heroism” has been applied to those who have braved physical danger to defend a cause or protect others. But one of the most feared dangers people face is that of disapproval by their family, peers, or community. Sometimes acting courageously requires someone to speak out at the risk of such rejection. We should consider those who do so true heroes.

Should heroes be defined as people who say what they think when we ourselves lack the courage to say it?

Heroism does not have anything to do with braving physical danger but rather with why it is faced in the first place. Therefore, heroes should be defined as those who stand up for what they believe is right, despite opposition. There are countless examples of men and women who have done so in literature and history.

Martin Luther stood up to be a hero at the Diet of Worms when he refused to recant his beliefs despite being threatened to be excommunicated from the Catholic Church. His beliefs, which had already gotten him into serious dilemmas, were not seen seen courageous because someone else had wanted to express them but weren’t able to. They were seen heroic because Luther refused to stop believing them as correct and stood up for them even when he was being threatened.

Another example of a hero is Skeeter from The Help by Kathryn Stockett. She writes a book showing the harsh lives of African American maids in her town. She is the only white person who believes that the way the maids are being treated are wrong, but she writes her book to stand up for her beliefs. Even when her enemy threatens to ruin her relationships with her family and her boyfriend, she speaks out for what she believes as right; her heroism has nothing to do with the beliefs or lack of courage of the people around her.

A last example comes from Aldous Huxley’s Brave New World. In his book, John the “Savage” is a character that continually stands up for what he believes is right- whether others agree or not. He does this by choosing to have religion, reading Shakespeare, and promoting freedom, though most of the ordinary people do not understand or even care about what he is talking about. His cause could make him an extreme outcast, but he continues to promote it. He is a hero for what he does despite opposition.

As seen through people defined as heroes in literature and history, it becomes clear that the definition of hero does not really have to do with others lacking courage, but simply to do with what one believes is right andstanding up for that belief even at the cost of danger or resistance.



Typing it out, I realize this is quite bad but I would still like specific criticism/tips on what to fix. Thank you again!