Grade my SAT essay please?

liukaiwen1
Wed, 16 Apr 2014 23:43:23 +0000

I’m having the most trouble with writing my essay, so I am asking if anyone would be willing to grade my essay for me.
Please give as much criticism as possible, so I can improve. Thank you!

Here it is:

Essay Topic: Is it important to question the ideas and decisions of people in positions of authority? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations.

People with authority often make decisions without having a great deal of knowledge of the subject or for political gain. Also, if people in authority are not questioned, it is possible that they may become corrupt or abuse their power. Although people with authority are given power to make decisions on behalf of the people, they should be questioned when appropriate to check their power.

In 1787, the United States ratified the newest constitution, the basis of our modern day USA. In the constitution, a system of checks and balances was created to make sure no one branch of government became too strong. Each branch was also held accountable to the American public because they were voting for or against each memeber of those in power. It is the duty of an American citizen to question high officials to prevent corruption and protect the spirit of democracy.

For example, Richard Nixon’s Watergate scandal was exposed by the media because the public questioned NIxon’s integrity. Coolidge was involved in the Teapot Dome Scandal which was leaked to the media giving widespread criticism to him and made sure that Coolidge did not get his 2nd term as president. If high ranked officials were not questioned, these scandals would never have come to light, and we would still be ignorant of the widespread corruption in politics today.

Presidential corruption is not the only source of authority to question; the secretary of agriculture should also be questioned. GMOs, genetically modified organisms, make up most of the food in the market, and they have been approved by the secretary of agriculture as safe for human consumption. Unfortunately, this is no the case as shown by a questioning American Public. The secretary of agriculture is also the vice-president of the largest GMO producer in the US. Many laboratory tests have shown that GMOs have been shown to cause cancer, infertility, birth defects, and various other problems just by consuming these foods. There have even been releases of reports from the FDA scientists stating that GMOs are dangerous and should not be released to the public, but because the secretary of agriculture is reaping large profits, he is willing to sacrifice the health of the American public.

Political corruption is the biggest concern in politics which is why Americans need to question those in power. If we, as a whole, could petition and demand change, we will get change. We could for the department of agriculture to reevaluate GMos and thus protect our health and stop the madness that is corruption

Thank you for your critique!