Grade my SAT essay?

Duelix
Sun, 01 Jul 2012 13:13:30 +0000

Hello,

Here’s an SAT essay that took up almost all of the space given. Can someone (or preferably multiple people) grade it? Just look for 2-3 minutes:



Prompt:
"Sometimes it is necessary to challenge what people in authority claim to be true. Although some respect for authority, is, no doubt, necessary in order for any group or organization to function, questioning the people in charge- even if they are experts or leaders in their fields–makes us better thinkers. It forces all concerned to defend old ideas and decisions and to consider new ones. Sometimes it can even correct older errors in thought and put an end to wrong actions.

Assignment:
Is it important to question the ideas and decisions of people in positions of authority> Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken fro your reading, studies, experience, or observations.



Actual Writing:

Throughout time, the information of the old has been phased out and replaced b information of the new. It is absolutely essential that authoritative views be challenged to ensure the progress of society. These challenges allow changes in corrupt religious figures, more accurate scientific knowledge, and finally a government that helps the people rather than itself.

A primary example of the beneficial challenge of authority is the Reformation, occurring in the 10th century. Martin Luther nailed his 99 theses to a door, attacking an immensely powerful and extremely corrupt body, the Catholic Church. The decisions of the church included accepting bribes for positions, laundering money, and selectively avoiding punishment of the wealthy. Had not Martin Luther condemned these ideas, the Church would have continued its practices, much to the detriment of the European people. Due to this publicity, the Church reforms itself ad better served its purpose: The preservation of moral values.

Secondly, a simpler example of a challenge of authority is Albert Einstein’s theory of relativity. His wrk led to much modern scientific knowledge, a benefit that would not have existed without the original idea that scientific “facts” aren’t necessarily completely correct. N his theory, there was a fixed maximum velocity, bodies motions did not occur in a fixed grid, and time was not constant. This was in clear contradiction with established scientific authority. Through his challenge, Einstein improved gravitational predictions and most measurement of time.

Finally, a defiant challenge of the United States’ Vietman War Policy led to a more accountable and more open government. Various protestors voiced their opposition to the War, indicating that the war was not at all necessary. This view turned out to be correct, as the War achieved nothing but death and loss for everyone involved. Without this challenge, the government may have fought even more and caused more casualties.

Thus by the challenge of authority, society improves and grows. Leadership is more effective and “facts” become more accurate. Scientific, religious, and political change is abound. We may still be cavemen is it weren’t for these people.



I’m just typing this over and it already looks horrible– but with 25 minutes, what can you do?