Gulp Feeling Sad about DS leaving (in 2017!)

ChoatieMom
Sun, 06 Dec 2015 00:12:38 +0000

@sadieshadow: I’ve given this a lot of thought:

http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/discussion/comment/17638250#Comment_17638250

and although I like to say that it does get better, if I’m honest with myself, it really doesn’t or, at least, it hasn’t for me. We have an unusually independent kid who never put us through any angst with homesickness or trouble adjusting to BS. He soared from day one. That first year, we were just mesmerized by the newness of the BS world and watching the incredible things he was doing. I really didn’t miss him much that first year because I was so in awe of what he was experiencing, and he was so happy. But, his absence hit me like a ton of bricks that second year for the reasons I described in that link, and it’s gotten a bit worse for me every year. We lost our only child to a distant life at 14; he never really came back.

When he chose the military for college, I was devasted. He’s gone. Really gone. I wonder if I had known where we’d be now, if I wouldn’t have kept him close a while longer. Until the army got him, I would have said as I said in that old thread that we’d do it again; after all, it’s about him not us, but now I’m not so sure. I guess it’s best that we can’t know the future. Our son is living his heart’s desire, but my heart is just broken. I did not have him long enough.

There is an incredible support team here, though. You’ve come to the right place. You will have days when you miss your child viscerally. You can count on that. You can also count on the many others who’ve gone before you to lend their virtual shoulders and help you focus on the reasons you allowed your son to leave. That will help you keep your perspective but, I will tell you, it won’t repair the hole in your heart. Steel yourself for that.