Have College Freshmen Changed?

Modadunn
Tue, 12 Oct 2010 19:39:03 +0000

Now if I can give her things I never had myself growing up or maybe even things some of ther friends dont have, why pretend I can’t?



I don’t think it’s a matter of having to pretend. I don’t just “give” my kids things even though I can afford it because it doesn’t really teach them a lot of life lessons necessary for being an adult. Delayed gratification for one. If I just bought my kid a new cell phone every time she wanted one… what does she learn from that? How does that help her critically review the cost/benefit of such a purpose?

I consider my job as a parent is to get my kid to be a fully functional and responsible adult. An adult is not typically subsidized by their parents. I even know of plenty of kids with trusts who do not see even one distribution until they are 25-30. And they have it pretty darn good. We ask that they work in the summer and save up their cash to pay for their social lives. We cover everything else, including books. (As point of reference, my deal in college was 100 bucks a month for everything and I had to pay for my books which meant I might have not bought a few!)

Being able to go to your parents when you’re really needing something is one thing, as is buying your daughter tickets to a concert because you know she would love it. But getting her a BMW just because YOU can afford it is kind of setting the bar pretty high for what she will realistically be able to afford on a young college graduates salary.

This country is evolving into a bunch of folks who have no ability to delay their gratification of things. It is why people bought homes they couldn’t afford, and are in more debt than any other generation. It also truly changes one’s ethics if their only guiding light is “what’s in it for me.”

Neighbors kid graduated college, took a full 18 months to finally get a job where he lived at home, paid no rent or any bills (not even his cell). Was laid off and took the summer and now the fall to basically spend all the money saved traveling all over the place. He is now home. No job, no prospects and now, absolutely no savings. Living off mom and dad. Do we NOT see a problem here?