Haverford vs. Barnard vs Smith

calmom
Sun, 23 Apr 2017 06:09:59 +0000

Obviously I don’t know your daughter, but mine is just the opposite – definite risk taker, it was always an issue from early childhood. (She won… we parents just had to learn how to get over it.). I’m sure not everyone at Barnard is like her, but at the same time Barnard is not an environment with a whole lot of hand-holding…and Barnard students do also have to navigate the whole Columbia thing. Plus NYC is not a “friendly” city. So your post only confirms my sense that she could find Barnard / Columbia / NYC intimidating.

I don’t think the Barnard admissions dept. makes very many mistakes in RD, so they must have seen something in your daughter’s application that made her seem like a fit who would do well there – and there are probably many incoming students who are choosing Barnard precisely because they want to gain the sense of empowerment that women’s colleges are reputedly able to bestow. So if your D. chooses Barnard… I think you should have faith in her. She could grow a lot in the coming years, and Barnard could be the place that provides the impetus for that growth.

But if she is leaning toward Haverford or Smith … then I don’t think you should discourage her.

I do think that college choice is not just about who the student is now, but who she wants to be in 4 years - and that can be a problem. My son chose a small LAC that seemed like a perfect fit for his high school self… but it wasn’t a fit for the 20 year old he became— and he ended up leaving school. None of us has a crystal ball but you also said your daughter is an activist, so perhaps she wants a place that will challenge her and take her out of her comfort zone.

How did your Barnard campus visit go?