Having trouble fitting in and making friends

mbnumna6
Sat, 30 Apr 2011 18:21:48 +0000

Ok Im going to warn you guys that this post is going to be pretty long. So who ever reads this I really do appreciate it. Its going to take alot for me to explain this and how I feel about things. I do feel lame coming to this site asking for help, but I really need some advice from whoever reads this.

Let me first say Im a junior, playing football, making good grades and attends a small college.

I have been at this school for 3 yrs. I do have friends, but the problem is I dont feel like they are really my friends. We hang out, but we never hang out alot on weekends. The problem is because I can be a little shy and I DONT DRINK. I do drink a little, but I dont drink like 90% of the people on campus to the point Im having hangovers the next day. So people never invite to hangout with them.

So on weekends, Im usually by myself in my dorm room either playing video games or watching movies. It sounds cool to do sometimes, but this is college and I know Im suppose to be having fun on weekends. After 3 yrs of doing this it is starting to get to me. This leads into my next problem.

So earlier this year (2011) there was this girl that I liked. It took a while for me to get her attention, but when I did, we came a little close (at least thats what I thought).

We were talking on the phone, eating together, walking together, sitting n chilling together in the park,texting eachother everyday, and went out on ONE date.

So one night we had this festival at our school. We were hanging out with each other. Around mid night I asked her “do you wanna go somewhere else?”

She said “ummm no I have to go to the bar with my friends, even though I dont feel like going.”
I said “why do you HAVE to go if you dont feel like it?”
She said “because its her boyfriend friend’s birthday.”
I didnt know what to say because I didnt know she had a boyfriend, especially when we did all those things together.

So the next day “I asked her why didnt you tell me you had a BF?”
She said “I dont know, you never asked. And it would be lame if I told you I had a boyfriend for no reason. I thought we were just close friends anyways.”

I responded “even if we were just close friends, you still could have told me because we were hanging out with each other way too much. Even other kids thought we were dating. I said I mean Im not mad, If I knew you had a BF I just would not text you everyday and hang out with you as much as I did, such as taking you to the mall or sitting with you in the park.”

Also before that, she told me the guy she was dating, she and him were only really good friends. So in a way she kinda lied when she told me I never asked.

And when she told me she had a BF, that let me knew that she was PROBABLY lying about other things.

There were plenty of times when I asked her “if she wanted to do something tonight.”
She always had an excuse, such as “Im studying, Im sleeping early, or Im going to the bar with my girlfriends.”

There was this one example that happened over spring break. I went home for spring break since my house is only a hour away while she stayed on campus since she was an international student.

She said she was doing absolutely nothing over spring break. So I told her well we can hang out. She said ok. We didnt go out until 2 days before our break ended since she always had an excuse, such as Im going out to eat with my girlfriends or Im going to the movies.

By that time I didnt really want to take her out because the point of asking her out over spring break was to hang out multiple times. But we went out anyways. Went to the mall first. Then we were trying to go see a movie. She wanted to see an early movie time (7:30pm) and I wanted to see a later movie time (8:15pm) so we could go to a restaurant and have some time to talk; plus she told me she didnt have to be back at a certain time. So there was no point in seeing an early movie time. We tried ended up seeing the later movie time because we got lost on our way to the movies since we was trying to catch the earlier time.

After the movie she had an attitude while I was driving her back. When I dropped her off she went to a party, but I figured that was the reason she wanted to catch the earlier time, to make it back early at the party.

So yea now we are not talking unless we see eachother. But we no longer text at all. I did say I was sorry (I dont think I should have apologized) for getting a little upset since she told me she had a BF. I never cussed her out or got an attitude with her when she told me that.

So like I said I was having trouble making friends at this school. She was the one person that I was starting to hang out with. Since Im having trouble making friends at this school because Im not a big drinker, I felt that I was WRONG to her. I felt that it was my fault. I still do feel that way.

Should I try to be her friend still even though she had a BF or move on? Was she trying to play me? I have no idea why she would hang out with me during the day, but not at night. Was she talking to me only because she was bored? Me personally I feel that I should move on, but I still feel that it was my fault for messing up that friendship or relationship, what ever it was we had because Im having alot of trouble making friends at this SMALL college.

So any advice or help?