Help a frazzled parent

worknprogress
Fri, 08 Jan 2010 18:50:29 +0000

Youdon’tsay & Wildwood - It is stressful growing up with a great mind that betrays you on things that matter. My parents were both very, very methodical and hard-working. They were both extremely frustrated and downright angry with me a lot. I was told I was a goof-off, lazy, irresponsible, etc. Actually, I was very conscientious and somewhat of a perfectionist. The nuns told my folks at every conference that I was not working up to my potential. I was grounded, denied phone privileges, etc. I would resolve that I would do better, BE better, but my best efforts would go awry.

I went to college and did become a goof-off. I couldn’t take the stress of trying and not meeting everyone’s expectations, including my own. I dropped out of college and worked for a year and a half. Fortunately, I didn’t like my job, so I returned to school. While employed, I started to drink coffee. I noticed that a little coffee helped me stay focused. I finished undergrad, went on to grad school and first was an LD consultant and then went on and became a school psychologist.

When I started working with kids and realized that I was a classic ADD kid myself, it was so easy to help students and families. I certainly never talked about my situation, but kids and parents marveled at how well I understood the challenges and the pitfalls. Sure it was easy, I lived their life.

A couple of weeks ago we had a thread about holiday meals and I said I make and freeze everything in advance. It is a coping strategy. If I waited until the day before, I might forget something - like the main entree - and feel like an idiot.

So, hang in there. Recognize and verbalize the positive traits you see in your kid. Believe me, it will go a long way.