Help a mom with a major decision about her son....

calimom1214
Mon, 13 Sep 2010 06:51:59 +0000

I left out that he did do a 30 day stint at a very prominent rehab center. He wanted to leave the first 3 days but stuck it out becuase we said we woulnd’t take his phone calls and the doors would be locked if he decided to walk out, playing tough with him being far away was effective…he stayed and was a model member of that environemnt for 30 days. When we went for a visit weekend, we felt like in some ways he didn’t belong…he was the only one there for only pot. Nearly every kid there was there for hardcore drugs, cocaine,heroin, oxycotins(most in for that),etc…even the other parents questioned why we had sent him…but he was a dual diagnosis, depression and pot addtiction. For those that thought maybe he has done more…thank God the extensive testing proved that he only had pot in his system.

For the first weeks that he got back, things seemed great, he seemed like a changed man but slowly he crept back into his old ways, had a hard time trying to readjust, was anxious and the depression came back. It is a crippling situation indeed. They recommended “aftercare” which my husband was against and decided he was ready to come home (I did not agree) and so it is that he is here about 4 months later and things are not quite as bad as they were but slowly heading there.

My biggest problem with having him leave our house is not knowing the depths of his depression/hopelessness. He is not overly expressive and keeps a lot in. He is from a high achieving family in an affluent neighborhood where everyone seems to go to great colleges, and land great jobs,etc…he feels lost in the shuffle of such an accomplished group…not that he is not fully capable of being one of them, just not right this minute.

My husband comes back tomorrow, thank God and we will see this new therapist together. Will said hes going to work today, where unknownst to him, he will be told by cousin (boss) that one more missed day unless he is sick, he will have to let him go. Best thing that could happen, becuase he will know from a relative stranger that there is a consequence.

Someone said something about knowing when to let go, and I ask myself this all the time. Thinking most people probably would have done it by now, he has caused a great deal of distress on all of us and our household. I have become a different person, physically, emotionally and mentally. I know that whether I choose for it to or not, it really cannot go on much longer this way. I am really hoping the therapist can help us find some direction here.