Help a mom with a major decision about her son....

calimom1214
Mon, 13 Sep 2010 08:21:55 +0000

I do agree Mommathree, in some cases because of our unintentional enabling towards Will, he really doesn’t know just how much he can do and accomplish on his own. He has rarely had the chance to do this and when he did (sending him away to college) he wasn’t up to the task to be successful, that was probably his last stab at total independence. Why he is so different from my other two very goal oriented and high achieving other two…I have yet to figure out.

I don’t even expect him to be like the two of them, if he decided to have a career playing music in some smokey downtown bar 6 nights a week or decided to become a plumber, as long as he is happy and content and fulfilled I WOULD BE THRILLED and I truly truly mean it with all my being. I just want to see him satisfied and enjoying his life. To see a kid so miserable makes my heart ache on a daily basis. I am out of whack in so many ways myself, and I know my daughter though she doesn’t express it fully is equally troubled and thrown off.

It really brings down the entire family. I know there is no quick fix, but I want to feel/know that whatever we are doing is even in some tiny way working, working towards that unified goal of him getting better. Don’t feel we are in that place right now. He still is very lost, very down, and seeming very hopeless. He is up and getting ready to go to work so we will take it one day at a time…the therapist did say to applaud even the small steps, so even though it somewhat goes against my nature to applaud someone for “getting up and do what they are supposed to do like 99% of the population”, I will put that aside and tell him I am proud of him for going and getting himself up. The therapist said he feels so bad about himself and is beating himself up so much (inside) that he needs to hear something good, something reassuring and that he is in some small way redeeming himself in our eyes.