Help a mom with a major decision about her son....

momma-three
Mon, 13 Sep 2010 07:40:42 +0000

^ I understand, my daughter also grew up with high achieving brothers, one has just graduated MIT and two will graduate from Cornell this coming May. When families have children who seem to be at complete opposite ends there is alot of guilt on the parents end. We seem to question if our pride in our high achievers have made our lower achieving kids feel inadequate. I always wondered if I sent some message to my daughter but I still don’t think I have. I saw myself as accepting and encouraging but for the kid who is always seeing the siblings success it must be difficult. However, this is not a reason to say to hell with my life, and to behave in a way that is self destructive.

Depression and ADHD is a difficult combination that requires much love and support but it also requires some boundaries before the behavior reaches a level where the child is spiraling. I wish I could tell you for sure that our approach is working…I just don’t know. My daughter has a long way to go and her time away this past summer seems to have thrown her off. I just know one thing, and that is what we were doing was not working, so now it is our daughters responsibility to find what works for her.

My eyes are always opened to the danger area but if we keep living like she is about to take her own life, than she is not going to have a chance to really live her life. Real living means all the good and all the difficult aspects of life it does not mean that we will find jobs for our kids or providing money for all of their wants and it does not even mean that we could make them happy. Real life is simply putting one foot in front of the other and sometimes that foot may stumble causing them to fall…that is real life. I think kids have succeeded when they are no longer afraid to fall because they know they could pick themselves up. It has nothing to do with the college they attend or the career they choose…it really is just about them finding their own happiness.