Help! College issues with Ivy league son

calmom
Thu, 12 Jul 2018 23:08:49 +0000

The point is though-- there’s no evidence that a student who has a 2.5 GPA their first semester taking a heavy course load at a rigorous school is not a good fit academically. That student has leapt into the deep end of a pool and is not drowning.

The poor “fit” is one of attitude. It is the one talked about in other threads of whether it is better for a given student to be in a competitive environment, or rather a big fish in a small pond. Perhaps some high achieving high school students really are better served if they seek out less selective colleges where they can qualify for generous full tuition or full ride scholarships. Where they can come in comfortably ahead of the pack and stay there.

Because there are students who will feel defeated by a C in a class, and there are students who derive increased motivation from a sense of challenge; students who will take inventory and then take the steps needed to improve their performance (or opt for easier classes or an easier major).

I suppose to a certain extent there’s an argument for holistic admissions here – those “challenge you have overcome” essays may reveal factors about the student’s personality that would help sort out which type of student they are.

But again, I don’t really think it’s the fault of admissions. In this case, there is a student who packed his bags and went home when challenged. It’s not clear to me whether that was a decision made mostly by the student, or encouraged or forced by the parent. So maybe part of the problem is not fit, but parental expectations-- which obviously need to be reasonable in relation to the student. I think parents who expect too much are often setting their kids up for failure when they raise the bar, because they don’t provide room for growth and exploration.

Imagine a different outcome: Another student, with similar grades, stays in school and sticks with the major, but opts for a more reasonably balanced course load in the spring-- and pulls something above 3.0 average, resulting and ends up with a cumulative 2.7 GPA for the year (so, from a C+ first semester to B-) end of year. Success? That hypothetical student has completed his freshman year, and now is establishing an upward trend for grades. Maybe 4 years down the line he ends up graduating with a B or B+ average … but he is graduating in 4 years.

And yes, there are students who stick it out and things only go from bad to worse-- so no guarantees. But there are valuable lessons to be learned either way.