Help me explain to my mother why I have to visit a school before I say 'yes'.

<p>This might sound completely random, but my mom doesn't understand the importance of getting a feel for a college campus before I decide to attend school there. I've always dreamed of NYU because of my love for the city, and it's credibility with the Media, Culture, and Communications program at Steinhardt. </p>

<p>But, I'm not sure how I feel going to a school without a real campus. I keep hearing from all my counselors, and friends in college how visiting a school was the ultimate deciding factor, and that NYU is totally polarized- either you love it or hate it and won't know until you see it for yourself. I'm staring my senior year in the fall, and want to take a week off in September to visit NYU and other schools in the north. </p>

<p>But my mom doesn't seem to understand that I'm not okay with settling for something I haven't seen for myself, even though my dad thinks it's fine. It's not paying for the trip that she's worried about; I have an extremely well-paying internship with Turner Broadcasting and I've already found cheap flights for my older sister and I to fly out and visit my top choice schools.</p>

<p>I'm sure this sounds like a major rant, but I really can't see what else my mom doesn't understand: I'm not going to say yes to spend four years of my life and money, unless I give it up close and personal approval. Could you help me communicate this?</p>

<p>I know you said money isn't a concern, but remind her of the ridiculous cost of just applying to colleges, as well as the effort you're going to have to put in to essay writing, etc..</p>

<p>You didn't really say what your mom's hesitation is. Is she against you missing a week of school? Because that IS a lot. I missed three days in a row for college visits last fall, and it was hard to get back on track. Just talk to her, be honest and understanding of her concerns, and I'm sure it will work out. Be ready to compromise, though!</p>

<p>In my son's high school, they have a policy of providing 2 days of excused absences for the junior year and 3 days of excused absences for the senior year just for the purpose of visiting colleges. This shows the value the school places on seeing colleges first hand. Note that DS's high school is very strict on attendance and is very uptight about missed school days, so you can see the importance school personnel place on college visits.</p>

<p>Does your school have this policy? A school may not really be what the individual student expects and the fit between the student and the school involves subtle qualities and "feel" that perhaps only a site visit will illuminate.</p>

<p>My college touring with my son was invaluable in eliminating some schools off my son's prospective college list. For instance, he had an
outstanding chance to get into Brandeis University (likely with a scholarship) but he really did not care for the campus when visiting.
Likewise, Tufts University. This did save us money in college application fees and time in writing additional essays for DS.</p>

<p>I personally believe your college education starts with the college search and application process. The college visits are an integral part of this process where you are learning about yourself, your likes, dislikes, academic/social goals and aspirations and the matches (or "mismatches" out there).</p>

<p>I agree that visiting a school is imperative for deciding whether it is right for you. However, I'll be honest, I didn't visit a single school until AFTER i got my acceptances (and rejections). Eventually I did visit a couple of the schools in NYC that I got into (including NYU obviously) and that was the tipping point for me. NYU was the right fit.</p>

<p>If it's timing, perhaps visit this summer or even apply and then visit it given you get accepted? NYU is common app so even though the application fee isn't small there isn't any extra essay from what I remember (just some supplementary questions).</p>


<p>Yes, money and time may factor into college visits, so not everyone can do the college tours, especially where there are a lot of colleges on the student's application list. However, eventually, once the choices are narrowed down, it is generally a good idea to visit the select college(s) and experience the college(s) first hand. As in your case, where it confirmed your choice of college to attend.</p>

<p>As a Welcome Week Leader, I HIGHLY encourage you to visit. Other Ambassadors have said that the NYU visit is crucial. Some HSers think that they will LOVE NYU, until they get here and realize how integrated we are into NYC. It's a polarizing campus.</p>

<p>You absolutely should visit a school before attending, but I think that you should compromise and visit the schools after you're accepted. It's really a good idea to do this anyway, even if you've already seen the school during the application process.</p>

<p>College is a huge investment -- wouldn't your parents have looked at a house before buying it, interviewed onsite at a job before taking it, driven a car before buying it?</p>

<p>I think that often students find they like a variety of campuses once they've visited, but the more important thing is to find out what they DON"T like. It's not a case of visiting just to see whether you "fall in love," but to weed out the schools that you know you wouldn't want to attend.</p>

<p>You have some really good advise form these postes. I agree that a visit is highly recommended. Getting a feel for the campus is invaluable. We visited some before the application process to eliminate possibilities, However a visit after the acceptances is even more valuable in deciding.
In the case of NYU, I am with MAP. You will either love NYU or hate it. it is really often romanticized and is not for everyone. If you are absolutely in love with the Medias, Cultures and Communications program, i suspect you are going to apply regardless of a visit.
But the fall is probably the best time to visit.</p>

<p>I would want my kid to visit, but I think I would also worry about visiting during the school year. Definitely, do not go to NYU without checking out the campus. But it is possible to visit after you've been accepted, too.</p>

<p>Thanks, all. About missing school, I have good relationships with the teachers I'm going to have. I missed a day last year for job shadowing, and my teachers didn't mind telling me some assignments in advance or letting me do makeup. </p>

<p>I've thought of going after I've been accepted, but I don't want to wait until April of next year, but I do see how it narrows down where I have to visit to make a decision.</p>

<p>Oh, and I made a mistake in the language of my original post:
"But my mom doesn't seem to understand that I'm not okay with settling for something I haven't seen for myself, even though my dad thinks it's fine."
I meant to write that my dad is fine with me going to visit schools, he gets my city vs. campus dilemma :)</p>