Help with 20 yr old dropout

Northstarmom
Sun, 15 Jun 2008 15:21:18 +0000

Are you having her pay rent and for her other expenses?

My older S dropped out of college, and ended up living rent free with m childless SIL who thought she was being kind to allow S to live rent free even though H and I told her to charge him a reasonable rent. S – who up to that time had been industrious about work – started a rock band and used his meager earnings from that to party.

It wasn’t until SIL retired and moved away that S realized how little his earnings could pay for. He moved with two friends to another city, got a job, a nice apartment, and he and friend kicked out of the apartment their roommate, who wouldn’t work or pay rent

While S hasn’t returned to college, he is being responsible about supporting himself.

S was very angry with H and me for a long time and didn’t communicate with us, but after a while, he reestablished ties, and seems to truly understand that what had seemed to him like our being mean (by not giving him money or a car to support himself) was our being loving parents who wanted him to become responsible.