Help with an overbearing parent

Longhaul
Wed, 18 Aug 2010 13:32:37 +0000

As a parent who wants her kids to look “wide” and “far”, I understand where you dad is coming from.

I urge you to:


Look at the Financial angle, as many have said. Cost of apps, cost of sending SAT scores, EFC, average aid/merit and chances of getting those at each school.
Consider why he wants you to apply EA. Is it to force you to not procrastinate? Is it to give you some confidence of early acceptances? I am a a believer in rolling admissions & EA. I think every student should apply to at least 1 school using these methods.
Look at the schools your Dad is suggesting. Create an excel sheet. Do side-by-side comparisons of your 4 schools to some of his. Consider travel costs and Cost of living too.
take a deep breath – he is trying to help. I know there is a fine line between running your life and helping at this age.
Once you have done all the above, now you can sit down with your Dad and discuss what you like & dislike about each school. He is more apt to listen why you don’t want to apply after you have evaluated each school for its merits and not just its location. Then ask him to tell you why he choose these particular schools. Give specifics why you wish to stay in your region.


Be proud that he finds you a viable candidate for so many schools! It sounds like he wants you to broaden your horizons and realize you have opportunities. Since you haven’t visited many schools, he may just think you have never considered college to have so many opportunities.

I do suggest you at least visit some of the schools on his list if your schedules allow. Parents can have the same reaction as kids – love a school on paper, but not in person. And have him visit schools on your list too!

Show him the app process – I used to think the app process was easier now given computers & the Common App, however after going through materials with my neice, I’ve realized it isn’t a simply copy paste form one to the other.

He has listed some difficult schools to get into – UVA and W & M for OOS is not impossible for your stats, but certainly not a shoe-in acceptance.

Yes, he has thrown a huge wrench into the situation, but don’t be upset. Be thankful he wants to be involved. Keep him involved. Get him to come chat with us.

And finally – I urge you to let him pick at least one you are willing to apply to no questions asked.