Help with my essay?

gomdorri
Fri, 08 Jun 2012 18:59:31 +0000

I decided to write a practice essay for the SAT, and since I don’t really know how to proofread my own writing (as I am not a great writer and/or judge of writing)…
care to help? I’m trying to work toward a 12 on my essay so that I can score an 800 on the writing section when I actually take the SAT.

Prompt:
“Champions aren’t made in gyms. Champions are made from something they have deep inside them: A desire, a dream, a vision. They have to have last-minute stamina, they have to be a little faster, they have to have the skill and the will. But the will must be stronger than the skill.” -Muhammad Ali

If you want to become an expert in a certain field, do you need to have more talent or more motivation? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations.

ESSAY;

In terms of business, society tends to consider talent the epitomme of success. When applying for a job, one may be asked about their experiences in a certain field in order to determine acquisition of skills. However, in contrast to the uniform process used to single out the adept from the inept, a different method must be used to differentiate further; this step determines the cut off of the minority from the majority.

As shown through classics, children’s stories, and movies, talent does not define prosperity. Instead, talent, though important, only acts as a catalyst for the development of true ‘champions’. In every character from JK Rowling’s famous Harry Potter to Hercules, everyone’s favorite hero, one can observe the strength in passion, motivation, and a craving for success. In Aesop’s fable of the tortoise and the hare, the tortoise is, at first glance, obviously the underdog. One would expect the tortoise to have no chance against the hare, who was born with its extreme agility. Ironically enough, the tortoise wins the race and sends the hare into a state of utter humiliation. This is only one case out of thousands in which the protagonist begins as the loser. The tortoise was not capable of outrunning the hare, yet it never gave up, and eventually surpassed the hare, who pompously thought that losing was impossible. Time after time again, perseverance leads to fruitful results while ignorance and carelessness can have detrimental effects. People can only reach a certain point with skill. Without the motivation, one can never surpass the boundary between the simply ‘talented’ and the truly successful.

Those who dream, crave, and strive for their goals regardless of their dearth in a “chance” will progress forward, while those with talent but no aspirations stay suspended in the same situation for eternity. Skill is not only an innate, exclusive badge to be worn by an elite, pre-selected few. With practice and perseverance through failed attempts, an underdog can easily surpass the first winners. People who lack motivation never practice, never improve, and therefore can never achieve self-actualization and a place at the pinnacle of a hierarchy of success. They forever remain behind a barrier impermeable to those without an effort to improve. If utilized, natural talent can pave the pathway to success. In addition, the underprivileged can also attain their goals through their ambitions, constant efforts, vast area for improvement and craving to have a place among the best. Therefore, while innate abilities may certainly facilitate a journey, ambition and desire are absolute necessities to reach the final destination.