Help with private student loans

thealternative
Mon, 21 Aug 2023 13:20:38 +0000

If the kid is trying to get away from the broken family dynamic, having the parent that has been a large part of the stress attached to student loans doesn’t exactly break the chains.

If the father can pay, which there is no guarantee when the dynamic is broken and he wants to behave in a controlling manner.

The money does not seem to be there right now. Hopefully a deferral with scholarships will work. If not, the kid doesn’t have a workable college right now. More options should have been on the table earlier in the spring from a wider application process. Since this isn’t the case, the kid might have to start anew. It sucks. But onerous student loans suck more.

Recovering from a Narc family situation doesn’t have to include going into ruinous debt.

The thing is, we are at least 20 years (if not more) into this new, terrible paradigm where some college choices cost way more than most families can afford (let’s face it, this is not an Ivy the kid has been accepted to, and the cost is still too high for the family). Saying no - not right now without an affordable financial plan - is the only way to save your family in the long term.

Other kids? Health emergencies? This kid is part of a family, and if he didn’t get an affordable college option right this go 'round, then that should be the lesson learned. Not financial penury. Why? Because that is actual love. Not giving in to rapidly-changing teen emotions, with no sense of long-term family peril.