Helping child find a "passion"

2collegewego
Mon, 09 Nov 2009 05:29:53 +0000

My kids developed passions in high school. It probably only helped one during her college application process (I think her leadership shone through) but I encouraged the passions because I wanted them to have interests that would focus their future major and career interests and, honestly, as a single mom (and this will sound so non-CC), I wanted my kids to be productive.

This is what worked for us… I kept them busy. I always had a list of what free activities I could find in the paper and that’s how we spent at least one day a week. They were exposed to sports, music, art, foreign languages, historical houses, science museums, nature centers, etc. Whenever they expressed an interest in something, I tried to find a way for them to explore it. By the time they were teens, they had naturally refined their interests to a few things and, with enough exposure, could figure it out.

The hardest case is probably my son who had an avid interest in a sport as a child and even trained with a top international school-- only to max out his ability in that sport around middle school. It took him a few years to find another interest. Even now, he is torn between a couple of interests-- but it’s never been a matter of no passions, it’s always been about picking the one he likes most.

Honestly, if I had a kid who couldn’t find enthusiasm in anything, I would have a serious talk with them and try to figure out if it were depression (in which case I would take him to a counselor) or just a personality thing (in which case I wouldn’t worry as much but would try to encourage some sort of career exploration). In some cases, it may be a good idea to limit time in activities which are zapping the life out of the kid.