Hiatus from work for the high school years

Aspieration
Tue, 26 Jun 2018 02:52:57 +0000

I appreciate all of the discussion. This has been very therapeutic to read (you can send me your bill everyone). I’ve been AWOL because S1 had a downward spiral at the end of the academic year. Meltdowns, toxic words and the resurgence of some mildly aggressive behavior (think intentionally stomping on a foot) which I thought we had long moved past. So far school has been understanding (not kicking him out - yet). On top of that, he has become restrictive about food – he now has maybe a dozen foods that are acceptable. (Luckily all good: fruit, lentil soup, yogurt, almond butter – but nothing frozen (must be fresh), no meats or cheeses, nothing from a can or tetra box). His CBT therapist is setting up an appointment with a dietician who specializes in kids with issues around eating/foods. I’ve also asked her to set-up an appointment with a psychiatrist. I’m not fcking around with eating (pardon my french). If he wakes up one day and will only eat one thing we may need to act aggressively, and despite all of my fears, YES that may mean medication. So my whole ‘what am I doing with my life’ thing is completely on hold. My boss has said “please dial down your commitment to whatever you need (e.g. 50% time) but don’t quit. I don’t want to lose you and you deserve a career.” H is suggesting quit rather than go 50% time because it will be more than 50% time (that’s the kind of person I am). Back to S1 - he is also fixated on fitness in general. He briefly wore a step tracker (that H bought for me) but said that the thing stressed him out too much. Then S2 went for it and started announcing his steps, calories burned, etc. S1 said that THAT was stressing him out because he maybe was getting less exercise than S2. S1 also worries about getting less flexible when he does yoga. We got his pediatrician to write a script for OT so he can talk to a pro about physical health, fitness etc. My head is started to explode. You know how CBT is all about working through distortions we have in our minds? Like phobias? The goal is to see (through controlled exposure and affirmation but gentle challenge to feelings) that things are not as bad/scary as you think. I’m beginning to wonder if my whole mental model of S1 is a giant distortion. That this kid *I see - with all these incredible strengths and so much potential - is a total mirage. AND WORSE that I project that mirage to S1. So S1’s sense of self is fed by his mother’s hallucination about who he is, his potential. S1 is home this week, a few days with a sitter, a few days with me. He starts a therapeutic special needs camp Monday for 5 weeks. I have no idea how it will go. Could be a complete catastrophe. I don’t know what happens then. He can’t sit with a babysitter all summer. H has been helping me set everything into motion. The camp is part of the same center where he receives CBT. We have parent orientation tomorrow and will attend weekly in-person parent training sessions for the next 5 weeks. Date night, special needs edition. Sorry for the wall of text - the enter key on this laptop is broken.