Hiatus from work for the high school years

Midwest67
Mon, 18 Jun 2018 17:56:56 +0000

With $$$, there are so many things you can hire out to make your life less stressful. Even an afternoon of someone else watching your kids so you can do XYZ.

It was my experience that our kids needed LESS of my time as they got older and were in high school. That doesn’t mean we didn’t spend time together, but unlike the younger years where nearly everything required a parent going with or a parent providing transportation, the high school years gave me a lot of freedom I simply did not experience when they were younger.

The amount of parental duties slid off my plate dramatically. The kids were driving and getting themselves around. The kids had their own money and were learning to manage it by purchasing their own clothes etc. The kids ate at home less often and so I was shopping & cooking less often. I mean, there were a whole host of tasks, and decisions that I was not involved in more than observer and “I’m here if you need me”.

All of this to say, by time HS and then college rolled around, I was leaning into work more and more. With both kids out of the house, I’ve jumped ship from the family-friendly job I had for 17 years, to something new. Sure, I’m in touch with both kids by text and phone calls, but one lives on the other side of the country now and the other 8 hours away.

I’m not sure @Aspieration can “see” how quickly this can happen, seemingly overnight – going from a hands-on parent, often overwhelmed with too much to do and too many decisions to make re: the children-- to POOF – just you & your life.

I’ve asked @Aspieration in other threads, who are you going to be when parenting is not your primary job? Don’t wait to think about it. I’d be very wary of scaling back at work, thinking the kids are going to need you “more”. That has not been my experience at all (again, just my experience), and work has been an anchor during the craziness of the teen years.

Post #52 @busdriver11 makes important points and I wish I could like it with an exclamation point. A good therapist should be able to help the OP with all sorts of things that are pressing on her mind.