hook up culture in boarding school

classicalmama
Mon, 04 Mar 2013 15:59:20 +0000

I think a definition of terms might be needed here. What Exie is describing is different from “insert however far” which–yup, I’ll make a value statement–doesn’t seem to me to be mature, whether done by adult or child, and certainly doesn’t seem romantic. I wouldn’t describe dating that gets physical quickly by mutual consent as hooking up, though I agree that line between them is not always clear.

For example, at my college, students describe hooking up as random and unplanned sexual encounters with a variety of partners over a very short period of time (i.e. a month). Alcohol or drugs are almost always in the mix, so judgment is impaired. The counselors at my school spend a lot of time trying to talk kids out of that stuff and into healthier relationships, so I think my value judgment isn’t all about me and my narrow outlook.

Hook-ups–at least the way they happen at my school and the way my bs kid has described them are not a good way to get a first taste of affection. Emotional connection is pretty much what they are NOT about. At any rate I agree with all of Exie’s post and find the last paragraph to be particularly true. I think we’re talking apples and oranges here.