How CC helped me help my D

compmom
Thu, 13 Apr 2017 19:40:57 +0000

With more of the financial info, this seems like a great decision. The Ivies I am more familiar with give much better aid.

My family is not the Ivy striver type at all. I resent being stereotyped. My kids went to a mediocre high school, didn’t do any SAT prep (none of the 3), and we never talked colleges before summer of junior year. I pushed for state universities. None of my kids “dreamed of Harvard.” Myself, I could care less. And… I did not know about financial aid until we actually looked at the schools…for us, the money situation was a huge plus for the more selective schools.

After admission, with one of my kids, I thought the state U. would have been much better but teachers were all over him about his Ivy admittance, it made our school look good, and I was frankly disgusted.

My son wanted to go to the Ivy and he ended up paying for almost all of it, or, at least, the difference between state U. and the Ivy. He met wonderful peers, had wonderful professors, had incredible opportunities during the year and in the summers and has his dream career. It worked out great, mainly because of the ability he had to pay along the way.

Please do not characterize my posts as typically CC Ivy-crazed. My son would tell you that he is so happy that he took that route. I think all decisions can benefit from an alternative point of view, posted as thoughtfully as possible (I hope).

My other kid thrived at Harvard, despite her extensive health issues. The supposedly cut-throat school was as kind and supportive as any parent could ever with for, so I am a bit biased in that way. Try getting that kind of support at the state U., at least ours.

Rather than finding CC to be obsessed with Ivies, I find the opposite. A persistent anti-Ivy bias, and lots of posts telling us how families have been strong enough to resist the Ivy siren song.

Well, I have learned- after the fact- that sometimes there really are good reasons to sacrifice for an Ivy school. It depends.

Given the cost for the OP’s family it would certainly seem as if the right decision has been made. Unless the kid is in CS or something like that. But I also think it is healthy to have a little regret about missing out on UPenn and that the inclination seems to be to deny the value of a school like UPenn in order to feel better.

I have spent 10 years on CC now. If you have read any of my posts, whether on the Harvard forum or the parents forum, I give the spiel “don’t try to fit the school, find a school that fits you.” I ask kids why they have “wanted to go to Harvard since they were 5” and urge them to investigate other schools. I try to post to families who ARE pushing hard for top schools to chill and let their kid enjoy high school, good health, and authentic interests.

I don’t really want to apologize for not going along with the party line here. For some kids, when it is financially possible, or even financially beneficial, Ivy League schools and other highly selective colleges can be wonderful wonderful experiences. I am sure Ole Miss will be too.