How do parents get their children into grad school?

ticklemepink
Sat, 21 Feb 2009 21:23:24 +0000

^ good point GP is also on target in his/her first post.

It’s very important for the parent to be SUPPORTIVE as clueless he or she is about the academia. Don’t assume anything. Academia has its own unique problems, hiearchy, and culture. But the politics are still there so parents can relate on that part on how to deal with different people and networking. But don’t shoot down the student during application process or their time in the program. If you look through acknowledgements of many books written by academics, parents are often dedicated (or the spouses) because of their unconditional love and support all the way through. If you don’t find yourself in the last 2-3 paragraphs, something went wrong since that kid decided to apply.

Parents are always welcomed in providing financial support. If not, they need to understand that if their child is putting himself/herself through grad school, especially if they didn’t work first to save a little money, they are in for a rough lifestyle that resembles poverty. Literally. So don’t expect your child to travel home on a moment’s notice or pay for cable upon moving in. Be mindful of that- my parents are certainly aware that I take care of almost everything in grad school, especially that I don’t ask for money or put anything on their credit card.

Your role, as with any working child, is to be a counselor, not a parent. You are now there to give life advice, not to tell them what to do or do anything for them.

During the admissions process, let their professors play the role that you played when your child was in high school. Professors know what’s in and out of the academia and can give better insight. Excellent advisors can wind up parenting their students… unintentionally, but only in the students’ best interests. Just trust your kid’s professors… especially if you’re paying the tuition money for their undergrad!