How do you feel about getting older?

blossom
Tue, 17 Dec 2024 12:55:19 +0000

We hired a social worker/eldercare consultant at one point to help with the boundaries issue.

Money well spent. She was able to point out to one of the “elders” that some of the expectations weren’t just unreasonable- they were downright manipulative. And when the time came for assisted living, she took on the “Tour of Duty” (we had already visited 20+ places and knew the one which would work) and was able to do the tours with the elder highlighting the good/fun/enhanced quality of life features that the elder was just unable or unwilling to recognize when touring with a family member.

At one point while the elder was still living alone (and making frequent “I’m out of toothpaste, come get me so we can go shopping”) the consultant showed up with a magnetic legal pad and attached pen, stuck it on the fridge and said 'When you run out of something, write it down. When your kids call, read them the list; they’ll put it in your Peapod shopping cart and then once a week a nice delivery person will show up with EVERYTHING you need! Everyone in the neighborhood is doing this! It’s just the best way to shop, you’ll love it".

We had tried and failed about a dozen times with this system. Somehow hearing that everyone else is doing it (and from a non-family member) broke through…