How do you feel about this?

AeroEngineer3141
Tue, 21 Dec 2010 00:09:37 +0000

People like “conformists” because they’re easier to anticipate. Even people who attach themselves to cliches that claim to be nonconformist are preferred because you can at least have a fairly good idea of what they like, what they hate, how they’ll act, and how they will judge you, which makes interacting with them so much easier than having to ask awkward questions about their work and family life or whatever the hell else. However, being a “follower” or a “conformist” isn’t necessarily mutually exclusive with being outspoken in your ideas, and what you’ve got going on here doesn’t seem to be a matter of that at all.

Anyway, back to your actual problem. I think Matt just appears very friendly and approachable to your friends - perhaps due to his introverted nature and desire to appease everybody - and because of that everyone wants to have him around. You should also consider that whenever someone is introduced into a core group of friends, there is always a mandatory get-to-know-him grace period, where your friends will want to get to know what he’s like on his own. Because you introduced him, they want to see how he acts without you as his crutch.

Give them some space. If it’s still on your mind, casually ask them about their trip. Show that, while it doesn’t really bother you, you’d still like to be invited to the next trip. Or, like quomodo suggested, just start your own.