How do you know if your child is good enough?

EmmyBet
Sat, 16 Feb 2013 12:30:43 +0000

I will say that it is true that all of us have seen kids doggedly pursuing dreams in the arts when they appear not to have quite enough ability - for their PARTICULAR dream, at a PARTICULAR time. Sometimes people have to adjust their expectations due to experience … but also sometimes they do learn enough to overcome their limitations and they can really surprise us. I really try to reserve judgment. In this crazy world, so many “untalented” people have so much “success” that I have pretty much thrown up my hands rather than try to predict anyone’s results.

As for a personal perspective on assessing talent … having been active in the arts pretty much all of my life, professionally and non-professionally, I feel that being “good enough” is only a moderate - if not small - percentage of the equation. I don’t mean to sound vain, but when I was growing up, I was talented in several artistic areas (NOT theatre!), and my teachers strongly encouraged me to pursue a career in them. In one (visual arts), I was quite talented, but I had very little drive to do it professionally. In college I took many studio classes, but only for relaxation. In a second (music), I was pretty talented, but not in the conventional way that was necessary for conservatory study, and I did not want to change myself or conform - because I knew my talent would hit a wall anyway. I didn’t study it in college, but I played and learned through experience. In the third (writing), I had the most drive to do it, but it came the hardest to me, and it had the fewest options to find mentors and training (30 years ago), but I did follow that path educationally and personally as best I could.

Throughout my life, I have found ways to enjoy visual art - these days mostly through quilting and other fiber media - and actually have earned some money through those pathways. I have been a musician continuously, and I play and teach a lot, even though I don’t have the usual credentials. And while I studied English lit and writing, and I go to workshops, I have found this is a very private form of expression for me, and I didn’t end up having the writing career I envisioned, and more or less prepared for, when I was in college.

Life has taught me that being creative isn’t just “10% inspiration and 90% perspiration.” My experience is that it is about 25% ability, and 75% inclination. You have to want to do it, even if you are very talented. And inversely (conversely?), if you don’t want to do it, it doesn’t matter how talented you are. Caring about doing it is THE most important thing.

In addition, and as I have told both of my kids repeatedly, there are so many ways to have a life in the arts that defining “success” narrowly, or, perhaps, even using that term, cheats and even disrespects, the thousands of people who enjoy art, music, theatre, writing, dance and everything else in the creative world, every day of the week, whether or not for money, just for the love of it. My kids were lucky to grow up where they were surrounded by people who loved to DO things - artistically and otherwise - no matter what their talent, no matter whether anyone appreciated it, and no matter whether they made any money. What my kids noticed was that there are an awful lot of people who get a lot of joy from the arts and never ask questions about being good enough. They also noticed that an awful lot of those people are pretty darn talented - which taught them that fame and success don’t always come to (or matter to) the talented, and that the famous and successful aren’t always the most talented people out there.

Do what you love, and see what happens. Study what you love, and you will have a rich, happy college experience, and you will come out understanding yourself, and what you want out of life. Understand that life has no prescriptions, and trust yourself that you will know what to do when the time comes. That is all I wish for any of these kids.