How is reality compared to the expectations?

stemit
Wed, 22 Sep 2010 18:46:10 +0000

How does the actual experience of the student athlete differ from the pre-matriculation expectations, so far?

Thought it would be instructional to share our observations – albeit very early in our children’s collegiate careers.

From what we hear (and of course information is shared with us on a very selective and “need to know basis” – and we do not determine our need to know!), the workouts are intense and fun - but no more so than during the summer preparatory workouts sent by the coach and augmented by S. The team is bonding through many formal and informal settings – ranging from watching football (on large flat screen TVs) together at a nearby (walking distance) apartment, to pick –up flag football games, to captains workouts, to alumni sponsored dinners, to breakfasts in the dining halls, to official practices. The “hazing” has been light and within the bounds of reasonableness. The players seem to get along and a team is emerging. The coach is hands-on and well liked and respected and, since last year was sub-par, has kicked it up a notch – which S likes.

Next week, OV’s begin and he gets to see the other side of an OV.

At his school, roster sizes are much smaller than D1 power schools and, therefore, freshman may have a real chance to break into the starting line-up. That is what he expected; and the competition is on for playing time.

He says that he is always tired – and takes way more naps than in HS.

In S’s school, the athletes are not housed together in freshman year (you can arrange your roommates next year). That means more opportunities to create friendships/acquaintances with the rest of the student body. To S that was a very good selling point during the recruiting process.

In addition to the social opportunities found with the dorm (and residential college) and the team, before the students even arrived on campus, they were offered the opportunity to backpack/canoe/rock climb/do community service with their incoming class. S loved the trip and shared an experience with people who he will connect with for the rest of his life. The people on the trip were not teammates, nor dorm mates – they were other freshman who he may have never met. (He was very forthcoming on telling us about the trip during the few hours we spent moving him in.)

Food is plentiful and, he says, really good and included in the arm and leg fees we paid.

For the first two weeks, it was like summer camp (including the backpacking trip) – orientation mixed in with a never ending party. Placement tests given, classes selected, campus bookstore navigated, bank accounts opened, laundry done, rooms arranged, parties attended, rooms locked out of, parties attended, video games set up and played, parties attended, etc. I am sure that every freshman has similar experiences.

We are now on the outside – not even looking in; rather, told an occasional observation; texted an occasional request; forwarded an occasional e-mail. All the while letting S set up his new reality – and learning where we fit into this reality.

My wife and I forward to each other the texts he sends. We find that we are in touch several times per day – interesting that when texting first emerged as a means of communication how appalled we were! Now, we cherish each text we get! My daughter uses Skype to stay in touch with her brother (she is in HS); my wife and I are not yet invited into that method of communication. We are looking forward to playing Call of Duty with him over the internet (the old folks learned COD over the summer – we die a lot).

We are adapting to this reality and learning the limits. For us, if we ask too many questions in a text, it will be ignored. So we stick to the subject matter HE brings up. (We get all our many questions answered; just not on our terms; on his terms!)

We were so proud when he called us after he signed up for class and he wanted to bounce off the walls at his choices. We congratulated ourselves that he chose challenging subjects and cashed in his AP credits to move to the higher class level. But, it was his choice to make.

On the party front, he needs to find his level – alcohol is everywhere, ever present and always used – regardless of the pre-matriculation courses, lectures, lessons, entreaties, and threats. But, at least there is no driving. Growing up is all about discovering your limits and boundaries and we can do nothing more than watch as S learns how much, when, and with whom. (I don’t need to get through a problem set nursing a giant headache!)

So, in sum, while it’s way too early to draw conclusions, so far the school is everything S hoped, wished, dreamed and expected on all fronts – athletic, social, and academic.