How is this essay for CUNY honors

casablanca
Sun, 31 Oct 2004 22:22:30 +0000

I have already submitted it, so no one can steal it. I’d like some feedback though.

The prompt was: Please submit an essay about your interest in and experience with NYC, and how you nope the study of the city might further your goals-- personal, academic, and professional.

the essay (titled: My New York)

The first time I laid eyes on New York was the day I started building it. The only skyscrapers visible from my stroller were the legs of adults and the only bridge I had to cross was the one between my parents. Yet, over the years I have built bridges, skyscrapers, and a multitude of other things.

I embrace New York City with the intense excitement of new love and the fresh eyes of an adventurer. Every morning I wake up enthusiastic about a new brick that I can lay atop the foundation that I have built. Therein lies its charm. The New York City you live in is not my New York City. This place multiplies when you’re not looking. We move here, we move there. New opportunities open up in one field as well as another. You have your favorite coffee shop, movie theater and newsstand. Before you know it, you have your own skyline. It is this quality that sets New York City apart from any other place in the world.

New York City is the concentrate of art, commerce, sport, religion, entertainment and finance. The City’s versatility parallels the type of person I hope to be and the type of education I hope to receive. A well-rounded education makes for a well-rounded person. Continuing my education in New York would help me achieve my goal of becoming a more open, well rounded, and understanding person. At the same time, living and studying in New York City will allow me to further explore and discover all that New York City has to offer.

Going to school in New York City has been the greatest experience of my life and the most essential part of building my own New York City. It is through my experience at Brooklyn Technical high school that I have learned the qualities that one needs to possess in order to succeed in the city – respect, perseverance and ingenuity. In Tech, I have learned the value of hard work and that of education. The diversity and the multitude of cultures represented in Tech reflect those represented in New York City. It is safe to say that Tech is a microcosm of New York City, and in turn, a microcosm of me.

I have seen many beautiful places, met many talented people, and learned many new things. I have learned to be tolerant and objective. I have learned to be open and honest. I have learned to be punctual and patient. I have learned who I am and who I would like to become. I have learned this from New York.

New York is not a capital city; it isn’t a nations capital nor is it a states capital. New York City is the capital of the world – and I have built it.