How long do you give it? ...

aj725
Thu, 02 Oct 2008 20:26:28 +0000

OP – I graduated college relatively recently so this isn’t a parent’s opinion, but I used to agree with your daughter in my lack of interest in cultural affinity groups. However, in this situation, I would definitely encourage her to check it out because it could make this yr/semester easier even if she ultimately transfers. I would not frame it as – you’ll meet your best friends in that group because she will likely say that she won’t be friends with people just because they’re the same race.

However, I would point out the fact that there is clearly a racial issue at this school, and joining an affinity group will give her a group of people who are obviously not going to be judging her based on race; emphasize that they don’t have to be lifelong friends but people that she can do the typical college events with at least for a while – dinners, campus events etc. – so she won’t miss out on that aspect of college. Also, emphasize that she doesn’t have to “self select” and only hang out with the kids she meets in that group. Very likely those kids have other ECs they’re involved in and other friends of various races who are more accepting than the people she’s meeting in class/ECs. It would be good to get an idea of what those activities are and meet those friends of friends because that’s how she’ll start to find her place. Finding her place through dorms/classes/or random clubs which don’t want to include her isn’t working so why not give this a try.