How much did you "push" your kids

Modadunn
Fri, 26 Feb 2010 11:23:46 +0000

We pushed - at least a little. When things looked tough, helped push through the difficulty. Our kid, who was great at all the school stuff, just didn’t have the coordination piece and we pushed him to give it his best (and he did get better and he did eventually become an All American his sr year). But in the beginning it wasn’t easy. Pushing is different than encouraging a kid’s passions. Pushing is sometimes doing things you don’t necessarily want to do. Pushing was saying, “yes, I realize this doesn’t come easily, but you are too young to know all there is to know. And some things are worth the effort.” And there is a HUGE difference between pushing and forcing. If after a year or so he still disliked playing sports (3rd and 4th grade) and hadnt shown a lick of success, we wouldn’t have forced. But sometimes overcoming frustrations and getting good at something just takes practice.

I suggest reading Mindset by Carol Dweck. I don’t agree with everything she writes, but having three kids I can tell you that by practical experience a lot of what she says spot on. Not everything come naturally. Passions can evolve and are developed every day, but you cannot force them.