How much do YOU think YOU need to retire? ...and at what age will you (and spouse) retire? (Part 2)

@ucbalumnus that is true with the country quotas. My grandfather saw opportunity in the US and came - and then my mother followed after her apprenticeship to live with her dad. My dad saw limited opportunity and had an uncle who sponsored his brother and him – back then you also could not be a ‘burden’ on the US, and the sponsor was responsible to make sure you were not.

The paradigm is different now.

I have a friend who has gone through the legal channels to be able to bring her parents over to care for them if and when that time comes.

When one retires, thoughts also go to how one gets and receives care and continues QOL as one’s body and mind age and falter.

Wife’s family has been farming the same piece of land for over 300 yrs (since 1705). We built our home almost 40 yrs ago on a corner of this piece of land ourselves, with the help of my late father and late uncle. We are so sentimentally attached to this house and land there is no way in hell we are moving in retirement!! She is praying that one of our kids wants the house after we are gone.


That’s a tough one!

My parents bought a house the day I graduated high school. It never felt like “my” house so I never became attached to it. My younger brother did live in it for 3 years of high school. His first year they still lived at the old house while they gutted and fixed up the other one, so for him it’s more his house. He used to say he wanted the house when they died. It’s old! Built in 1912. It’s big and nice, but a money pit considering the age. My mother also never really updated things through the years as she really just maintained things. I remember her not wanting to put granite counters in the kitchen when they redid it before they move in. Her reason was that she could replace the counters 10x with the amount that granite costs. Well, guess what? She still has the same formica counters! So, now it’s been 35 years they’ve lived there and my brother doesn’t want the house, I don’t want it, and thankfully it’s clean, but my parents have a ton of crap. Not hoarding type of stuff, but just chatzkes and stuff from entertaining. It’s a big house.

My point in all that is your wife better pray real hard they want the house and that it’s not just left for them as a problem to deal with, which is basically what my parents are doing to us. My parents should have moved years ago, but my mom refused. My father is almost blind and she has stage 4 lung cancer. They aren’t moving anywhere now. So they’re stuck, which means we’re stuck cleaning it out. My father has already said he isn’t moving unless he later moves to a place like “assisted” living, but he really means independent living and he views all those places as too small to him so wants to stay in the house as long as possible. Thank god there’s a caregiver but man it is tough. Whatever you do, just try to purge things out of your house so they aren’t all left for your kids to deal with. :slight_smile:

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@MADad I have a HS classmate that has bought land adjacent to family land owned by her/siblings that has been in family for a long time (further west, N IL). Her son (also high tech guy) helped do some work on the land and his feeling is with attachment to the land with his hard work. I think some siblings will buy out those that want to sell - if they can come to a meeting of the minds; majority needed to totally sell. Land is being leased out for crops. I have another high tech friend/HS classmate that has also bought a farm near our home town - his wife wanted to live near grandkids and he decided ‘happy wife happy life’. We all are 65 now (HS classmates).

Glad DH decided he is happy staying put in our N AL home. Once grandkids are further away, I may be spending a lot more time away. DH did a lot of national and international business travel with work, so he really needs to fill his ‘stay at home bucket’. I am on the retirement countdown with weeks instead of months…


That sounds like a challenge… too bad they don’t want to sell because this seems like the year of Seller’s Market, easier to unload a dated house. Someday we may need a thread to discuss options for parents wanting to stay in clutter-filled houses, trying to find home helpers and caregivers etc. I think it is a common scenario.

I know, right? The only problem here with a “dated” house is that no one can find contractors these days because they’re all so booked up. My house which isn’t really dated but I want to redo some rooms just because it’s time, like change stuff around in the bathrooms, etc. I am also just going to have to wait because everything and everyone are just backlogged. Fortunately I can afford to wait and am not that impatient but many others can’t.

Similar article I just read about cars. Such a hot market for any car, used or new. Going at list price and high trade ins. We have one leased car that it looks like we could buy out the lease pay off the car and own it and then turn around and sell it at a profit. Sounds nice but then we’d be short a car. In 2 months we could do it but we’d be forced to buy a car before Thanksgiving when the kids come back and not sure prices will come back then. We have one more year on this lease so hopefully by then we can get rid of one of the older cars and get something in place of the leased car at the same time. Guess we’ll have a year to figure that one out. I’m banging my head we didn’t buy a new car over the past year when no one else was, but at the same time, I wasn’t leaving my house either.


Or don’t purge much at all and hire estate sale professionals to handle it, we were surprised at the stuff that sold at my in laws home of 50 years. The guys running the sale told us not to throw anything away preparing for them, as they knew what was likely to sell.