"How Much Is Too Much" Was Lost

JEM
Sun, 22 Jan 2006 10:58:05 +0000

Sage, I saw your thread (assuming it was the one about a financial aid package at your son’s first choice school?) but just skimmed it and did not post. I am more of a lurker than a poster and you had already gotten much excellent advice.

I am sorry about the loss of recent posts, and many of us are frustrated about it.

Let me see, despite my mid-life brain freeze, if I can help by trying to recall some of the points people made. I also have some experience from guiding others through this gauntlet.

One of the most helpful in this area is TheDad. (Please forgive me, TheDad, if my recall is not accurate or does not do justice to your very helpful posts on this thread.) I believe he suggested that you compile all your documentation, but also have a cover “highlight” sheet that outlines the main points. That way each fin aid person who deals with your file won’t have to plow through all the papers to get the gist of the story.

TheDad also suggested that you should be prepared to “give” on something here. In other words, show that you will meet them partway – a basic negotiating point. He suggested being willing to take out at least a small home equity loan. The school WILL consider your home equity a resource that can be tapped. Only funds specifically for retirement are out of reach of the EFC.

I believe he also suggested finding out who else works in the fin aid office at the school and may be either more powerful and/or more empathetic. In other words, “scope out” the other personnel, if you can, and try to make contact with someone who will be “in your corner.”

Several posters suggested that you handle this as you would a deferral from the school. In effect, work like heck towards a favorable outcome on this at the preferred school, but at the same time, aim to line up others that will be good alternatives.

Further, there is the standard advice not to undermine your own future (retirement) for the sake of your child’s college education. Therefore, think carefully before committing to a school that will be more expensive than you feel you can handle. Kids generally end up happy and successful wherever they go.

Berurah was another helpful poster on your thread.

Perhaps some posting subscribers would have e-mail copies of some of the posts?

I hope things work out OK for you and your family, Sage, in all the areas of your concern.

Yes, the College Confidential community is a wonderful group. I hope this helps you get back on track.