How to Bite your Tongue

poetgrl
Tue, 05 Oct 2010 18:30:04 +0000

It takes time to change a ‘bad’ pattern. And, you will never be able to change how the other person is handling things. Ever.

I find this is useful with my kids when they get on some thing or another which I think is kind of silly, but I try to remember they are much less experienced than I am. I listen, and listen, and then, after a certain amount of time I say, 'I’ve to a ___________, so I’m going to have to get off the phone in five minutes, but I’m really sorry you’re finding this challenging right now. You’re in college, I’m sure you can figure it out."

If they press me for a response, I just say, 'You know, I’m not you. I don’t know what you need from this. I can only say that I’m sure you are going to be able to figure out what to do. I mean, I know you know there’s nothing you can do about what someone else is doing, so you’ll have to figure out what you’re going to do. You’re smart. You’ll figure it out."

If it goes on too long? I say, “Well, what are YOU going to do about it?”

YMMV