How to Bite your Tongue

katytibbs
Wed, 06 Oct 2010 15:26:20 +0000

I’ve learned that if I try to “help” I can make the situation worse. The person gets upset at me too, not just the person they were originally upset with.

And when I think about what I want when I am upset, a lot of times, I just want someone to listen, not to give advice. A good friend of mine who listens to me when I am in a “state” will just listen, and then finally say- would you like some feedback now, or not? So, she gives me the choice, but only after I feel like I have been listened to. She makes sure to know that I have a choice about getting feedback, she isn’t going to give me feedback unless I want it. I always feel better when talking to her.