How to Bite your Tongue

caymandriver07
Tue, 05 Oct 2010 21:41:20 +0000

mom2collegekids = I know exactly what she would say…she would turn that around and make it seem that I told her that is what she should do and then when that doesn’t turn out well she’d blame me for it…I’ve definitely been down that slippery slope in the past and it never ends well…that’s how I end up getting too involved and eventually held accountable for things that go wrong… giving advice of any kind is not going to work.

I know that the issue is that this type of behaviour she exhibits, she knows in the back of her mind there is a little voice saying that it isn’t healthy behavior but she finds it very difficult to take responsibility for that…in fact that’s one of the reasons why she clings to a boy…because she finds it difficult to take responsibility for herself so she gives that responsibility over to a boy to make her happy and then she has someone to blame when she isn’t rather then being responsible for herself.

It’s always been my biggest fear that she ends up in some sort of co-dependent relationship with some lowlife because she can’t stand on her own two feet…it is only good fortune that the boyfriends she has had in the past have all been relatively nice kids who haven’t taken advantage of her but stilll…

I do like poetgirls advice…its pretty much how I’ve been communicating with her on other things such as academics and such since she’s been at school but the boy thing is a trigger for me so I just need to watch what I say…

I guess i was just wondering if anyone else has faced this and how did they deal with it…its just hard to watch your child, your baby do destructive things and you want to help them but you know they need to make these mistakes in order to grow and become an adult but it doesn’t make it any easier