How to Bite your Tongue

tango14
Wed, 06 Oct 2010 20:35:54 +0000

I agree with adad. Unless (and even if) your language is entirely non-judgmental, she will hear what she thinks you said/meant. She “hears” your disapproval.

Reflecting her comments back to her, sprinkled with “I’m sorry you’re so upset,” “I wish there was something I could do to make you feel better,” etc., will be better than any implied/stated comment, even if true (which she will take as criticism). Questions such as “What do you think you should do?” “What would you like to do?” “How can I help you?” might be helpful as well.