How to help a grieving friend?

mom55
Sat, 05 Aug 2006 21:02:19 +0000

I was exactly the age of your friend when my mother died. I returned to my junior year of college after she died in the summer after sophomore year (having been sick for over a year). More than anything, I wanted to be “normal” – no excessive attention or sympathy – so I probably brushed off people who tried to talk about my mom. I did, however, feel lonely and sad some of the time, and very much wanted people around me who cared, and who accepted that there were days I would feel totally fine and want to have fun, and days I would be down. It was a hard time, especially because it seemed like everyone who had been single got into a relationship that first semester (except me) and it made me feel even more alone. So I guess my advice is: be natural, reach out, include her in things, be caring and available if she does want to talk, but don’t make “talking about her mother” the central theme of your interactions or it may make her uncomfortable.

You sound like a very dear and caring person. She is fortunate to have you as her mentor.