How to stop my brother from crying...

1sokkermom
Fri, 08 Jan 2010 07:43:30 +0000

We did not feel it appropriate to label S as “gifted” even though he qualified at that age. It was much more important for us ( and ultimately him) to thrive in any environment he was in, without adding needless pressure and any false sense of superiority associated with the term “gifted”. As an adult, the term means nothing. He also scored an 800 on math SAT as a sophomore in high school. He understands that such an accomplishment is great, but it doesn’t or shouldn’t define him! The key to success for him has been balance. He is a perfectionist and very competitive, but has been successfully able to channel his brilliance in many endeavors not related to strictly academics.

He has also realized that he is not perfect at everything, and that is OK ! As parents, we allowed him to try things outside of his comfort zone. We also let him know that every child is good at something, and that even the kids who aren’t as good at math, are probably better than him in something else. We totally disagree with the concept that the only thing that defines a kid is his test scores. I met a Mom the other day in the grocery store who remembered my S from when he was in middle school. (9 years ago). She didn’t comment on his perfect academics or math scores, she remembered how excited he was about playing the part of Tony in West Side Story. ;)