How to Support Bullied Daughter

sybbie719
Sun, 16 Oct 2011 08:27:19 +0000

I agree with SoccergirlNYC, that perhaps she should give up the position. Based on what you wrote, it seems that she may be in a job that is over her head. I also think that being in charge carries responsibility, and when something goes wrong, it has happened on your watch and it will fall back to you.

In reading some of the things you wrote, you come off as making excuses for your daughter (when you are in charge, you don’t have the luxury of excuses because it happened on your watch). Also because you were not there you are only hearing your daughter’s version of what transpired.

you wrote:



The latest was because the announcers at homecoming were reading off a schedule DD had prepared (when she discovered none had been prepared in the week that she was out with a migraine caused by this teacher) and the teacher had approved.

Unbeknownst to DD, another schedule came out that was given to teachers but never given to her.’



I am sorry that your daughter was out sick with a migraine. During the time that she was out, was she in contact with her vice president, senior class president, the other officer or the teacher/administrator that oversees all of this? If your daughter is going to be an effective leader, she has to learn how to delegate, get the support of her team and get the job done, even if she is not physically there.

There was a lack of communication if another schedule came out and she was in the loop. With texting, chatting, e-mail and phones, I don’t understand how she could not be in the loop. If your daughter is doing this by herself, then this is a bigger problem. An effective leader is only as good as the people on her team. IF she does not have a good team in place or a team that supports her, things are going to be a mess.



DD learned about the new schedule before homecoming, and got it to the boys. She told them to use it, but they were high as kites so her instructions didn’t stick.

Was it fatal? No, but the teacher’s cheerleaders did not dance at the time planned.

DD couldn’t get back to the boys because she was busy barking at freshman to keep them from flooding down the bleachers to participate in a game that needed only two volunteers.

Was she going to out the boys for being high?



It sounds like there was no overall plan in place for the event. If there was a plan it seems like there was no contingency, back up plan in place. There was no practice run to see if they could accomplish this task and keep it on schedule. If she saw the kids, knew that they were high as a kite, why would she bother to give them instructions? She should have gone to an adult and let them know that she needed to modify the schedule. She did not have back up plan.

Overall it seems that all of the event that transpired in post 14 resulted in a hot mess. Any criticism made about all of this is going to come off as yelling and screaming even if the tone came off as being angry or irritated and no actual screaming took place. If brunt of it is falling back to your daughter, it is very easy to understand how she is feeling.

If she is working with people who are not doing their job and is over-stressed, physically spent and unhappy why is she continuing with this? What is the payoff here for her?