How to Support Bullied Daughter

lookingforward
Sun, 16 Oct 2011 15:49:53 +0000

When I was young and had a lousy teacher, my mom used to tell me about her worst- and how that person eventually left the strongest and most lasting positive influence. Of course I didn’t believe her.

Jump forward. My kids had a problem with a teacher in hs. D2 could do no right. Long story but somewhat parallel to yours. I offered to intervene and she said no, I want to get through this myself. Darned, she chose a senior class with him, as well, and the same thing started all over again. Talk about risks, she even asked him to write an LoR.

When I look at her progress and triumphs in college, I often attribute her drive and sense of purpose to this guy. He taught her that, sometimes, nothing is good enough, but you keep plowing through. He taught her to define her role and identify the contributions she could make. He also taught her, unintentionally, when to punt. (I mean, when to simply accept a lousy situation for what it is, versus when to start a fire.) I had a conversation recently with her, about him, and she said no one else had taught her what he did- and she was proud.

So, a phrase sometimes holds: “sometimes our worst enemies are our best teachers.” I am sorry for what your D is going through. No two situations are alike. But, is there any “long perspective” you can take? Good luck.