I failed my first year of college

bjkmom
Thu, 02 May 2019 09:56:56 +0000

I agree-- you need to speak to a mental health professional and to the people at your school.

But let me speak to you as a teacher and as the mom of a college freshman who battles anxiety.

You’ve had a rough time. Your mental health has hurt your academic progress. You’re hurt and angry and blaming yourself.

Yet, had it been a physical problem- had it been mono or something that caused you to struggle academically-- things would be different, right? You would still be angry, but you wouldn’t be blaming yourself.

I want to tell you with absolute certainty: mental health issues are no different than physical health issues. Either can prevent you from performing, from showing the teacher what you really know or from being able to learn new material. The only difference is that somehow we allow ourselves to take the blame when the issue is a mental health issue.

There’s no way that any of this was your choice. It’s something that happened to you, not a choice you made. So you need to work on absolving yourself from blame, and to move on in combatting the problem.

Step one: talk to mom and dad. Ask them to find a mental health professional that takes their insurance, and make an appointment today. It’s weird at first; you just go and talk, and don’t see that it’s making a difference. Kind of like Weight Watchers-- you have to stick with it for a while to see the results.

You say you failed your parents. As a parent, let me tell you this: They only want for you to be happy. Sure, getting that degree is a part of the path you’ve chosen, so they want that for you. But the big picture isn’t the grades. They want you to be happy and healthy.

You didn’t hurt anyone. You haven’t broken any laws. You don’t have a drug issue. You’re not pregnant. Your parents aren’t angry with you, they’re hurting for you.

You failed some classes. I’ve taught lots and lots and lots of the kids over the years who have failed a class or two or three or four. And they’re wonderful kids who have gotten to the root of the problem, attacked the problem, and found success.

So speak to mom and dad. Before you leave campus, speak to someone. Your RA can point you in a direction. Or stop by the mental health office, and ask them who you speak to about your enrollment status.

But breathe. You’re not alone in this. You’ll find your way through.