I feel inferior

Engineerjw
Wed, 02 Feb 2011 13:56:32 +0000

Okay, so I’m an A student and I’ll be studying engineering at UF. I’ve got high numbers and everything, but I decided going in state would be good; plus UF has a strong engineering department. Not to mention my scores are iffy to get me in anywhere out of state (31 ACT and low subject tests).

At my school there is a track runner who is really good, but he got tests scores just as good as me, almost exact. His GPA is higher (not due to B’s, but a few more weighted electives). However, he is getting recruited at Stanford, Harvard, Duke, and more.

He signed for Duke today and it just made me so depressed. I work hard in my high school career and do so many extracurriculars only to go to UF (happily). But he is going to Duke, and all because he trumps me both academically and athletically. It’s not like he’s a jerk or anything, he’s very nice. It makes me feel so inferior being short (albeit in good shape) and smart against his tallness and smartness. He’s going to become a doctor, and he’s the kind of person that I know will actually do it. He’s the tall, handsome, preppy doctor type. You know, the long bronze paragon with no weakness that I can think about in my head to make myself feel better.

Anyway, it is so hard to cope with this. And I’m not saying I won’t be successful, I am quite smart, but after being used to being on top, it is quite disheartening to be “beat” in a competitive sense. Obviously the school a person goes to does not dictate much, but when the person is already way more athletic and taller than me and on top of that on a higher academic level, I feel like curling into a ball and rolling to a corner.

I feel quite abject right now.