I think I'm a failure...

TA3021
Sun, 24 Aug 2008 15:35:27 +0000

When I say I help others, that is only when I’m aware of it or not so anxious. Naturally, I am selfish. My family complains about me cooking for myself all the time. I don’t think of anyone unless they’re right in front of me.



To free you to be you.



Yes! It’s so interesting how you say this because I do feel that this is my actual personality. I’ve felt sad so long that I thought it was my real personality. I’ve also realize that I’m more aware of my surroundings and more people have been talking to me lately. Before, everything was so insular and I could spend the whole day in the mall and no one would talk to me and I would talk to no one.
It is just now that I get motivated to get up and do whatever I need to do and I am grateful for it.

It’s weird how I’m mainly getting the rare side effects of Risperdal which is increased saliva in my mouth and decreased appetite when the common ones is the exact opposite. I actually think the decreased appetite is a good thing because I need to lose a few pounds anyway. I’ve also decided to eat healthier.

The more common things I get are my legs getting stiff and stumbling a little when I walk. I’m afraid that some of the movements I do might be symptoms of tardive dyskinesia. Maybe I’m just being paranoid and I’m moving more than usual because I don’t feel so sluggish anymore and it’s a way to pass time in private.
As for Zoloft, I just feel better. I think it even cancels out a lot of the Risperdal side effects.



Good luck in school! Will you be able to work as well?



Thank you! I still have not found work yet, but I’m trying. The psychiatrist said that he will send a letter to the school after the next appointment. I think I’m going to get higher grades this time. I’ve realized that I’m able to concentrate better, especially when it comes to reading. I can’t wait for classes to start.