I think I'm a failure...

ADad
Mon, 01 Sep 2008 02:18:03 +0000

I’m afraid they won’t let me see him anymore



It would be scary to have to switch psychiatrists and medications right when you’ve gotten comfortable with the ones you have. Perhaps you can talk to the proposed new clinic about staying with your psychiatrist or at least interviewing their psychiatrist. It has been hard to find a clinic, but continuing the search (and/or considering approaching the psychologist you saw recently) might be better than accepting a situation that you’re not comfortable with. Full confidence and trust in your therapists is very important.



This may sound like a paradox, but I’m brilliant at school presentations…For some reason, I can’t do socializing as well.



Can I make a guess? With public speaking, you can be fully prepared and in control. Things can be made substantially predictable. I am thinking that you prepare yourself well to speak in public.

When socializing, though, one typically cannot have the same degree of control and predictability. Social situations require somewhat different skills, and different preparation. I believe that, in time, you can improve those skills and make those preparations.



I did not know how important my presence was to my family.



I imagine that it was gratifying and satisfying to find out, and I’m glad that you did! Thank you for telling a little about your sister and your family (and about your other strong fields).



I feel kind of sad that I’m not the one venturing out of my neighborhood.



Feeling sad, what if you look at the situation differently? I am thinking that you are “venturing out”–out of your previous situation, freeing yourself to be you, to find your true “neighborhood”, by taking the opportunity and challenge of therapy. It took strength and courage to go to the counseling center to begin with, to start therapy, to tell your parents everything, to keep at it.

With persistence and progress in this new venture, you too can look forward to the day when you are the one, if you so choose, who will venture out in a more literal or physical way.



I’ve had two instances this week where people assumed I was still in high school and my sister is older than me.



I’m sorry that these events happened. It sounds like you found them a little humiliating, and understandably so.



because I let nothing happen in my life



It’s frustrating to look back and think that things should have been done differently. One is helpless about the past, but what if you vow to “let something happen” from now on? Would that interest you, and how might you do that?



Hopefully, I’ll get a 4.0 from now on and find opportunities for myself.



I cringe a little to hear the 4.0 idea. As I see it, your best opportunities will come from healing yourself and freeing yourself to be yourself. You’ll then come to see your next steps, just as a plant blooms in the right conditions.

Good grades are certainly helpful and important. To suggest, though, that perfect grades are what you need, imo is incorrect and tends to create unhelpful stress and anxiety. Would you consider preparing goals such that “success” need not equal “perfection”?



Thank you for being there for me.



You’re welcome. I am very happy to be there. Thank you for your kind words.