I think I'm a failure...

TA3021
Mon, 25 Aug 2008 23:59:15 +0000

From Wikipedia

The cognitive ability of children with AS often lets them articulate social norms in a laboratory context, where they may be able to show a theoretical understanding of other people’s emotions; they typically have difficulty acting on this knowledge in fluid, real-life situations, however. People with AS may analyze and distill their observation of social interaction into rigid behavioral guidelines and apply these rules in awkward ways—such as forced eye contact—resulting in demeanor that appears rigid or socially naïve. Childhood desires for companionship can be numbed through a history of failed social encounters.



This analyzed me perfectly.

One of the doctors in the hospital said I might have it. Yet, I’ve met people with the syndrome and I don’t see how I’m like them because my problems seem milder than theirs. Then again, I was diagnosed with autism at two years old and they scrapped the label years later because I was too high functioning.



Do you mean that you are feeling better, feeling happier, and thinking that this better-feeling, happier-feeling person is closer to the real you, closer to your actual personality?



Yes. I think I meant disposition. I thought I had a naturally sad disposition. Then again, if I’m irritable or sad about something it doesn’t affect me the same way it used to because my emotions aren’t as strong anymore. I’m not trying to say I’m manic, but even my happiness back then was different because it seemed like relief from depression, bittersweet or excitement that came in spurts.
I’m sorry, it’s hard for me to articulate this.



This is intended to meet the school’s requirements as stated in their recent, rather harshly worded letter?



Yes.



I’m really impressed, though, at your detailed insight into your problems with conversation, and with your ability to articulate them in an objective, matter-of-fact way.



Thank you.



It is heartwarming to read this, to hear the little buds of joy in your voice!



That is so nice to read, likewise for you :)