If HADES is the BS equivalent of HYP+MS...

tigerdad
Tue, 15 May 2012 15:09:08 +0000

Exie, thinking about what you’ve just said, I do agree that there is indeed a component of confidence imparted to some of the students. I know little of Exeter, personally. I know that at another, very similar school, the students are indeed exposed to many different cultures and members of other socioeconomic brackets. When one of my daughter’s friends was recently asked by a parent what she did during the summers growing up, she said, “I made shoes”, referring to child labor factories in Thailand. Other students obviously hail from more privileged backgrounds. They do mix… to a point. Dorms at the schools I know are “stacked” by the second and certainly the third years. Students of similar background and means tend to live together after awhile. This is not necessarily bad, but is to be expected to some extent, given human nature. These different students still get along. They do interact in classes and activities. They can and still are friends. But their closest alliances still seem to be with those of a similar socioeconomic (not racial or ethnic) background.

I suspect that living away from home in a structured environment far from home does contribute to what I see as an accelerated maturation, something which many boarding schools impart. I am no educator, but I would think this explains some of what you see in midwestern day school versus boarding school students.

Again, I do not have direct knowledge of Exeter, but at another “very similar” school, the individuals asked to sit on the Board of Trustees are financiers, corporate attorneys, corporate CEOs, and hedge fund managers. I may be missing someone, but I know of no educators, poets, musicians, writers, or nobel laureates asked to serve on the boards which steer the schools. Again, there is nothing intrinsically wrong with this, but I, at least, perceive a significant catering to these individuals. I am not the only one who has felt this way. Even the catering to them is not a problem in and of itself. But when there is a clear dichotomy between the way in which they are treated, and the way in which the rest of us are treated, it belies the true values of the administration.

Finally, I would say that frequently the students and their parents are generally afraid of “rocking the boat”. When my daughter and her friend wrote an article in her school newspaper which was critical of some of the school’s policies, I was, frankly concerned. I had the clear impression that there could be repercussions. Indeed, the students themselves articulate clearly their fear of the “elastic clause” in the school’s regulations which allows the administration to define behavioral infractions at their sole discretion.

The schools probably should be made aware of the way parents and students feel. However, I fear that modifying their behavior for now will not address an underlying division unless there is a decoupling of money/donations and influence. Forgive my cynicism, but good luck with that.