If HADES is the BS equivalent of HYP+MS...

ExieMITAlum
Tue, 15 May 2012 14:25:06 +0000

Hmm. Interesting discussion. @TigerDad - perhaps an alternate word might be poise and confidence. A sense of worldliness not easily attained in other schools born of the constant exposure to higher level thinking and a wide range of economic and cultural diversity. Certainly I was raised in the inner city and attending Exeter was a culture shock. I’d had no exposure to students whose parents ran multinational corporations, were royalty or - heck, were members of the White House inner circle. But then again - those kids had little or no exposure to kids like me. And there was a blending that began to occur. My vocabulary and mannerisms did probably change more than theirs did, but it was - as you said - an essential skill I needed when I began navigating corporate and financial environments on my own. The trick was not to lose my identity in the process. Since I still live in the Midwest, I can see the other side - the parent involvement at local schools and colleges directly related to having children there. That those are often more discrete - but that there is also an insular nature to this region. That what we “do” and “know” suffices. And by the time I see those same students for college interviews I’m realizing they don’t always compare favorably (in terms of experiences, exposures, practical interactions) with BS kids. Still good kids, but it’s almost as if a part of their growth was stunted. Which is why my daughter fought so hard to get away from it. And now I see the same change - she was always confident and articulate - but there’s a maturity and proactiveness there that far exceeds her local friends who meet with me for mentoring each week.

Having said that, I felt like @GMTplus7 - sometimes schools do give the impression that our “value” is from a fundraising perspective only. But I have found that not to be true at my daughter’s school. They go a long way to emphasize parent as part of the “family” versus parent as “source of donations.” Became very evident while my daughter was abroad and the school - even her own advisor - continued to stay in to touch with my husband and I.

This is timely - especially the comment about advertising an inclusive environment, then failing to deliver it. Just got off the phone with the headmaster of my own alma mater. A number of alum are expressing similar views - that the school may need to adjust it’s approach. It’s gratifying to see that the staff shares the desire to see the campus culture lean more in that direction of humanizing the campus experience for students and families. Maybe a shift is coming - but it helps when it is driven by parents and alumni who don’t go “quietly into the night.” Schools can’t fix something if the users don’t tell them it’s broken. :)