I'm a student - I need some help...

bcarvings
Sun, 31 May 2009 15:20:01 +0000

My depression won’t be under control until I treat the cause. I need to get out and have some fun, until I do, I’m not going to feel any better. Sure medication will work momentarily(and not as well as socializing), but its not going to make me feel “happier”. Anti-depressents can just give me a boost to help myself have to will and energy to become happy through socializing.

Sometimes during the day I get really depressed, and I just feel like not transfering and just ending it. I’m afraid now to transfer, aren’t there dorms for transfer students, I don’t want to have all freshmen freinds I’m old enough as it is (almost 20). And with everything I’ve been through I would just feel like I wouldn’t fit it because I may feel more “mature”. Understand I’m not trying to sound like a jerk, I just am not a kid anymore. And just want to be able to fit in with friends I will enjoy, and whom will enjoy me.

If you look at my previous posts I wanted to drop out of high school my senior year, I was kinda depressed then too, but now I’m worse. Leaving college is not an option, as I want to stay in college as well. Working will make me feel worse.

If hitler could kill millions of jews out of cold blood, mabye I wouldn’t be sent to the same place he was if I end it.

I just need to make friends, but I’ll have to use crutches (AD) for a long time. I had some high school friends call me after my dad died, and they kepy asking me to hang out but I kept saying no. I want to call them back, just to get me out a bit (for leisure - not work). But I just get so low sometimes I just don’t care. I mean I have to post on here because I cannot talk to my asswhole family. You know I don’t like to often curse, but thats a good word for them.

It’s been too long since I was happy.