I'm getting rejected because adcoms don't like sexy toes.

GuiltyBystander
Mon, 18 Jan 2010 10:13:45 +0000

1.) Internationalness
2.) Needing FA
3.) The adcom who read my essay having a nephew who is also into writing, acting, and the Humanities.
4.) My application lost a rock-paper-scissors match to a scissors.
5.) The adcom had a fight with his daughter that day about going into engineering. The daughter is into writing, acting, and the Humanities.
6.) The adcom didn’t like my history teacher’s handwriting in her rec.
7.) The adcom hates to read.
8.) The adcom doesn’t like the word puppet.
9.) The adcom doesn’t like black hair.
10.) The adcoms are secretly computers.
11.) Freida Pinto’s application was in the pile above mine.
12.) Not a single mention of clam farts or underwater basket weaving anywhere.
13.) What is this??!?! Who uses CALIBRI font instead of freakin TIMES NEW ROMAN??? REJECTED!
14.) Adcom was sex-deprived and in a bad mood so he rejected me.
15.) My teacher and counselor were sex-deprived and in a bad mood so they wrote a bad rec.

16) Adcoms don’t appreciate usage of the letter “K”
17) Harvard felt like I was treating them like my safety school.
18) I failed the requirement of having clam farts and underwater basket weaving.
19) I am literate.
20) Adcoms don’t like post pigeons. They want online applications.
21) They didn’t like receiving my transcripts through messages in a bottle either.
22) Adcoms do not appreciate manila envelopes. They want white ones. (Unless they are Stanford)
23) I’m wearing all the wrong colors in the optional photo (please, don’t you know that Columbia’s color is NOT CRIMSON???)
24) The adcom believes that the world is going to end in 2012, and doesn’t see the point in admitting anyone