In-laws and $$, wwyd?

soozievt
Tue, 08 Sep 2015 13:49:35 +0000

As the thread unfolded, it became clearer that YOU did the work (your husband did not) and that he returned a large chunk of the gift with the reasoning that he thought his parents paid you too much. That changes things for me. In my view, he interfered with a gift your in-laws gave YOU. In this case, he could offer an opinion if he wanted, but it was up to you whether to accept the gift or give it back (and surely not to put a dollar value on how much your time was worth!!). In this case, a polite “no need to pay me” to your in-laws would be a nice gesture letting them know you did it for love, but if they insisted, keep the gift because it gave them pleasure to show their appreciation for your efforts in this manner. Originally, I thought the final decision should be your husband’s because they are HIS parents, but in this case, the help given was ONLY yours and the gift was meant from your in-laws to YOU. It really had nothing to do with him.

It also sounds to me that this hit on a deeper issue of your husband’s appreciation for work you do (usually for free) and putting a value on it. I think you should share your feelings about this with your husband. I think the fact that you helped HIS parents is even needing more appreciation then any work you do in your own home.

@powercropper 's letter is great!