In need of help with UC Davis waitlist statement!

brittmg13
Wed, 08 Apr 2015 17:29:42 +0000

I was recently waitlisted at Davis an an incoming freshmen for 2015, I have been working on my essay but do not have anyone to help me critique it… so if anyone has opinions or corrections I would greatly appreciate feedback. Thanks!! (200 word limit).

UC Davis is my first choice school, and the place I believe will foster my growth as an individual toward a rewarding path of educational and moral enrichment. From the first moment I explored your campus, the small, closely-knit college town ambiance and the constant atmosphere of feeling like great things were happening around me grabbed me; I felt invigorated, excited, and ready to attend. A university that installs a sense of passion and sustainment for your future is an irreplaceable factor that cannot be satisfied just anywhere. I am the type of student to take full advantage of the opportunities offered at Davis; I would strive to become a member of Aggies Give Globally, a club aimed to promote action in the community and help people in impoverished countries. I would also audition for the UC Davis Dance team and continue my thirteenth year of dance, performing at basketball and football games like I did with my high school dance team. I recognize that my application may not seem the most competitive; however, my undoubted commitment and eagerness to attend UC Davis may far exceed that of all others who await.