Indecisivenessss-UCSC, UCSB, UCB---------

Beatchick
Mon, 02 Apr 2007 01:06:44 +0000

Jerome, I totally get your confusion. I feel the same, except I’ve got Irvine instead of UCSB. When I first visited UCSC, it felt sooo right. I fell in love with the campus, the art, the happy people. But it also felt good academically. I think the academics there get a bum rap. My mom got me a magazine (I think Look?) from 1970 that had an article in it from 1970 about UCSC when it was just 5 years old and didn’t have grades. It was amazing the reason for the campus and how it was structured. They were thinking of having ultimately 25 colleges (never happened).

But I also did a tour of Berkeley and it also felt so right to me. I could imagine myself there and not be scared being surrounded by so many brilliant people even though I didn’t (and don’t) feel all that brilliant myself. I see people on these boards that seem so self assured and confident, and sound like they never get insecure of anxious like I do. Will I fit in with these people or will they annoy the crap out of me and make me feel even more insecure? Or will I be ok outside of my current safe environment?

Then, there’s Irvine, which I NEVER thought I’d like and just applied for the hell of it. Then I visited it and, oh, wow, I can see myself there too, such a good academic environment, and so pretty and clean (but in a more sterile way than USCC).

So, I’m going back to each one of these places one last time before making a final decision. My biggest worry is screwing up making the right decision for me. But I guess whatever I decide, if it doesn’t work out, I can always do to CC or Cal State unless one of the turned down UCs agrees to give me another chance. . . .

It’s a lot of hard thinking and only a month to do it. Wow. I am half feeling the pain and half glad I’ve been lucky enough to get the choices. But confused!