I still think the OP is smart to worry about this now. Yes, it is early in the first semester but it takes a long time to repair a GPA that gets damaged early in the college life, especially when it she might be able to help now.
IMO we’re still in the ‘let’s fix this’ stage, not in the ‘pull the plug’ stage. We don’t know if the professors are requiring him to ask for each test (for accommodations extra time on tests, 2 weeks for papers, whatever) or if they just required him to set up a schedule once. We all have kids who exaggerate what is really being required by the teachers. Maybe the EF coach can clarify things.
Unfortunately, the accommodations often require the student to self advocate, and they don’t like to do that and may not like the answer (which might be No, you have to do it my way). I have a friend who was 2E and with all the help of her parents she graduated 2nd in her class in high school and went to a top 50 college. Immediately fell apart. Two C’s and 2 D’s her first semester. She argued about the accommodations because she didn’t want to sit in the front row (required by prof if she wanted to use a lap top), couldn’t fully participate in her LLC because some of the meetings were after her bedtime, etc. Arguing about accommodations was, iMO, worse than just not using them because she was so miserable with the answers (that she had to follow the prof’s rules). She dropped out, transferred to a local school and lived at home. Much happier that those profs let her do it her way, but the school was much less prestigious (the price she paid). I remember that when she was looking at colleges Amherst told her they couldn’t make the accommodations she wanted and that she’d be happier somewhere else.
I’m a little like the OP in that I didn’t care if my kids got lower grades in college because they were doing the best they could, but they couldn’t do that at full pay (and expensive) schools because I couldn’t afford that. I think the OP is right to question if this school was the right choice before the money part gets out of hand and they are borrowing to finance an education that isn’t giving them what they wanted (a top grad school). The son is clearly smart because he was accepted to this top school, but that doesn’t mean it is the right school for the family.