Is it ok to go home?

powercropper
Wed, 02 Sep 2015 13:05:10 +0000

How wonderful that folks at your college notice that you are missing out and care about your welfare. That means you have a good chance of finding community and like-minded people if you make the effort.

Yes, it is so hard to make this transition. I was 6 hours away from home in college, and the distance kept me from running back to my childhood and forced me to find friends on campus. Our school encouraged students to stay on campus for the first 6 weeks. That lets you put all your energy into academics and the social aspect of college life.

The newness of college those first few weeks lends itself well to introducing yourself to others, joining another person sitting by themselves in the dining hall, and wandering around your dorm hall and peeking into rooms and saying hello. After a certain amount of time, that window of opportunity closes. It becomes more awkward to try to insert yourself into already defined friendships and small groups.

This is not high school. Your college is your new home for the next few years, and the academics and social go hand in hand. Want to be a part of a study group that actually studies? You need to spend time interacting so you can perceive which students care about their grades and want to make good use of their study time. Want to have friends to go to dinner with? It takes time and being there, especially in these early weeks, to become a part of a group from your hall that walks to dinner together.

You need to make a conscious effort to be on campus. Don’t be a commuter. Get involved. Make an effort to make friends. Attend events on campus. Join a club that interests you. And yes, skype weekly with your family or childhood friends. You aren’t being asked to forget them entirely. Text once or twice a day to let family know what you are up to. Post on FB. Use social media to stay connected with your long time friends. But give these new strangers on campus a chance. Maybe your new best friend is just around the corner.

It is normal to feel some sadness and homesickness during this transition. If you are overwhelmed with emotion, please seek out help. Colleges are equipped with counseling offices to help students transition. Ask your RA how to connect if you need more help making this important transition.