Is my college essay too formal?

Futuremed17
Tue, 04 Oct 2016 00:36:06 +0000

I did my common app and have had over 20 people read it- I’m aware this is not always the best idea as everyone has their own opinion. The main response I got was that my essay was too formal and did not show personality. Is anyone willing to read it? I’m a more formal person so I think it’s ok, but I need advice as I don’t want to sound boring!