Is this a 12 essay?

canhazphysics
Sun, 27 Nov 2011 16:11:47 +0000

It really is a great essay - great examples, great transitions, everything. I just kinda “eek” when you say “often times” - it’s too bookish(?) a phrase. Most of your phrase usage is weird, if not wrong. And your grammar can certainly be better (trickS us), and when that happens in the first paragraph, I develop a very critical eye through the rest of the essay.

And you don’t really use phrases as nouns without using at least quotes or hyphens.

What we see is reality even though it may not be what is there.
How what something seems to be isn’t the same as reality.
At the same time, however.
perfectly illustrates how the way things seem isn’t always what’s real.

You’ve used that waaaay too many times. Paraphrase. They’re all awkward.

But you’ve nailed the content. Just work on making the writing part of it more fluid.