Is this a 12 essay?

SheepGetKilled
Sun, 27 Nov 2011 16:09:07 +0000

Probably a 10 at best, but more likely an 8-9. The whole essay (especially the beginning) is awkward. Honestly, I don’t think I could have thought of a more awkward way to word this:

One good example of how things aren’t always what they seem to be comes from World War I.