Is this a good opening paragraph for ACT essay?

Mary123456
Tue, 06 May 2014 19:33:57 +0000

Is this a good opening paragraph for an SAT essay?

Should people be judged on their potential rather than by their experience and achievements?

Although a person’s past achievements can provide a valuable glimpse into her future ability to succeed, the most important indicator of future success is a person’s current motivation and integrity, her current willingness to tackle challenges and to push back her own limits. While past accomplishment can certainly point to certain character traits that often help lead to success, such as innate talent, it cannot accurately measure her current willingness to work hard, which is the single most important factor in future accomplishment. By focusing primarily on past experience and furthering the aspirations of those who have succeeded in the past over those who have not been so successful, our society deprives itself of future leaders who, although perhaps less accomplished than their competitors with brilliant resumes and top-tier graduate degrees, nevertheless deserve equal opportunities if they are willing to work hard. A person’s desire to further herself through hard work can change throughout her life. So, too, should her opportunities, for past accomplishment is not a reliable indicator of current motivation.