Is this an 11-12?

GammaGrozza
Wed, 08 Jul 2009 20:31:20 +0000

9.5

I’m so sick of the typical five paragraph essays with an intro, 3 body paragraphs each with one text, and a conclusion that only summarizes. You also have a lack of proper analysis (you presented the examples, outlined the plot, but had at most a line or two relating each example back to your thesis). Your evidence wasn’t the best (I think you could do better with a historical or anecdotal example). Your overall argument had some holes that were never adressed (from your Steinbeck example, it seemed as if the two characters gained power inadvertenly-how does that play into things?). And I disagree with what you were arguing as a whole (although that really didn’t factor into your score).