Is this an 11-12?

jamesford
Wed, 08 Jul 2009 14:52:33 +0000

10-11

-Instead of using 3 literary examples, use 2 literary and 1 historical
-Transition into your examples better. End the first paragraph with something like “This phenomenon can be seen in both literature and history.”
-Refer back to your examples in the conclusion
-Qualify your thesis in the conclusion. “There are instances in which peoples’ actions are motivated by other factors such as love, loyalty, etc. However, most actions are primarily motivated by power.”