Is this friendship toxic?

austinmshauri
Fri, 03 May 2019 04:53:15 +0000

Maybe she’s unhappy with herself because you’re graduating and she’s not. That’s not your issue. Trying to make you feel guilty for taking care of your boyfriend post surgery isn’t the way real friends behave. She seems to enjoy controlling your schedule (getting you to make elaborate plans, clean your apt. for her, etc.) and making you wait for her so she can ditch you at the last minute, then thinks you owe her an explanation for not being free to see her when it’s convenient for her schedule. She can only do that to you if you allow it.

For 20-30 minutes, she told me to “go have fun with my boy” and that apparently she never mattered to me anyway.

This is emotional blackmail. I’d arrange to be busy every time she proposes getting together. You don’t owe her any explanations for why you’re not available. She’ll either get her act together or she won’t, but you’re not obligated to stick around and accept being treated so horribly.